Baseball Before Bedtime: The Statue Got Me High

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Here's what happened in baseball when the monolith towered over me

Braves 8, Brewers 1: Oh noes Jorge Campillo gave up his first run as a starter! No worries, he also collected his first major league hit and drove in his first two runs; too bad he had to leave after five innings with a blister. Campillo racked up six strikeouts before allowing a tater tot to new Brewer Russell Branyan. Mark Teixeira hit a three run ding dong and drove in four and Chipper Jones had two hits to up his batting average to .420. Crazy stoner.

Blue Jays 12, Athletics 0: Blue Jays starter Jesse Litsch is a wizard! Kill it! Kill the wizard! He's amassed a sixteen-inning scoreless streak and earned his seventh win of the year against just one loss. Rangers castoffs Kevin Mench, Rod Barajas and Brad Wilkerson were the offensive stars, combining for six RBI and six runs. The victory marked the 300th win of John Gibbons' managerial career; he celebrated by hunting down Shea Hillenbrand and punching him in the nose.

Pirates 7, Reds 2: Twenty-six year old rookie Phil Dumatrait is coming up so you better get this party started. Kid has the best start of his lifetime and possibly the best start by any Pirates pitcher this season, holding Cincy to one unearned run on two walks and two hits in seven innings. Wow! Nine strikeouts! Not bad for someone who was summarily waived by the Reds last year. Jason Bay had his team-leading 13th homer in the win.

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Have you ever watched Chipper Jones hit...on weed

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