Felix Jose Paid To Use Baseball Bat; Not Robbing Convenience Store

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felix jose.jpgThe Calgary Vipers, a professional team in something called the Golden Baseball League felt they needed some more pop in the lineup after splitting this weekend's series with the Edmonton Cracker-Cats. And who can blame them? We've mentioned numerous times what a joke that Cracker-Cats rotation is. To bring a little more lumber to the party, the Vipers reached out and signed, who else, 43 year old former Athletic, Cardinal, Royal, and Diamondback, Felix Jose!!!

"I'm going to try to put some hits up," says the designated hitter. "I'm going to try to help the team keep producing."

"He's a veteran player; he can still swing," says Vipers manager Mike Busch. "He'll do what he does best, and be a role model for the younger guys."

It's not the first time Jose has played in Calgary. His first visit was in 1984 with Idaho Falls of the Pioneer League to play the Calgary Expos. During the 1988-89 season, Jose was a member of the Triple-A Pacific Coast League's Tacoma Tigers, competing against the Calgary Cannons.

1984! Dayum. He's only been out of the majors since 2003 so maybe there's still some gas in the tank. Certainly it improves the mood of any clubhouse to have someone named Felix in it.

It wasn't the only acquisition the Vipers made this week. They also signed former Calgary Flame, Theo Fleury. To play baseball. In related news Sammy Sosa is retiring because no one wants him on their team.

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I once almost bought a #24 jersey when Felix was a Yankee for a brief moment in 2000. I didn't realize he was 35 back then.

John Rocker is coming out of retirement to pitch for the Cracker Cats

Never trust a man with two first names. Especially if it's two Spanish first names.

Isn't "cracker-cats" an oxymoron?


No, but it's GOOD luck if a Cracker Cat crosses your path.

I can't believe that's the photo they used for Felix Jose's card. He looks like a five-year-old getting his face painted to look like Spiderman.

I refuse to believe that picture is not Rockwell of "I always feel like, somebody's watching me" fame.

It looks like he doubled up on the Sol Glow


Is Cracker Cat watching me masturbate?!??!?

I feel a slightly racist vibe coming off of the name "Cracker Cats." Does Robert Johnson own them?

Woah, is someone applying his eye makeup for him or does Felix have a thrid hand...that is white no less.

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