I Must Be Out Of My Mind

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canseco.jpgJose Canseco is looking for people to fight. I just responded.

Subject: Let's Fight


My name is Kris and I want to fight Jose Canseco. I am 6'1 and weigh about 195 pounds. I'm a little heavier in the winter. As a kid I was a big Canseco fan and even had his split screen 40/40 poster in my room. Now I would like the chance to beat him up. I have no background in fighting and have not been in a fight in many years but I'm confident I could take him. I co-edit a baseball site called Walkoff Walk and am positive both Jose and I could use the publicity.

Let me at him he's toast,

I'll keep you posted.

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He looks a lot like the comic book cover guy

That tranny next to him would beat you up, too.

That sign-off really did it for me.

And would you actually step in the ring with him? I assume there would be headgear and everything, but last I checked he was clocking in at 6'4" 250lbs.

You could totally take him.


When I hit "send" I got scared for a second, but then I did some more reading and saw that whoever he fights gets $5K. I would totally go in there and get my ass kicked for that much dough.


It's all fun and games till he mutters (through a mouthful of cockmeat), "If he dies, he dies."

He's going to blink at you just like Tyson does in Punch-Out!

$5K Will buy a lot of high life.

If he accepts we'll need the training montage posted here.

No, seriously. Canseco blinks more than anyone on earth.

You should have mentioned that you slept with his wife, then he definitely would have responded and you my friend would have a fight.


His wife is in a coma...

By the way, what liveglog are we getting? TB/OAK or SF/COL. I'm not not rooting for the AL contest.

I'm falling asleep just thinking about the prospect of a Giants/Rockies matchup. No, wait, not "falling asleep"... make that "pounding my head repeatedly against the wall."

If you can ever get your hands on Harmony Korines video "Fight Harm" I highly recommend it. You WILL change your mind about doing this.


@The Chief:

I see no corollary between "picking fights with random strangers on the street" and a sanctioned sideshow act against Jose Canseco. Also, there is absolutely no way in hell they pick me to do this.

Liveglog the A's game! I haven't gotten enough gut-punching losses in the last few weeks. What is it statheads say? Regressing to the mean? I don't know what that's all about but it applies to Oakland.

CTC, it's all about the pain. I used to box fairly seriouly and the best lesson I got from it is that i don't like getting hit. Watching that video just reinforced the thought. It's fucking brutal.

@The Chief


@ Farthammer: Sugar Ray Leonard could out-box and out-blink JoSe Canseco with one hand tied behind his back.

Kick his ass, CTC!

The first rule of Walkoff Walk fight club is you do not talk about Walkoff Walk fight club.

The second rule of Walkoff Walk fight club is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT WALKOFF WALK FIGHT CLUB.

Jesus, people, he put it on a tee for you!

At one point, Jose's dentist was located in the Char Hut Plaza at 122nd Ave. & Taft St. in Pembroke Pines, FL 33026.

I got his autograph on a 'Dream Team' (yes- the shirtless 'let's try and sex up baseball cards') card right as he was about to get a root canal.

Maybe you could even catch him while slightly woozy from tooth surgery, there... I did and it totally paid off.

Canseco's fights have been absolutely hysterical to watch.

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