I'll Draw My Curtain To The Town: Today's Other Afternoon Games

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  • 2:05, Twins at White Sox: This series has been a good microcosm for the whole AL Central thus far. White Sox take the first game 7-1. Twins take it 13-1 yesterday, in a game featuring a cycle and even more amazingly, Livan Hernandez improving to 5-1. This division is a stinkfest that no one wants to win. Today it's Kevin Slowey vs. John Danks. Slowey Danks sound like something my roommate used to sell in college.

  • 3:05, Cardinals at Rockies: Here's the best way to tell you're going to see a marquee pitching matchup. Go to the Yahoo! preview page and make sure that both SPs have headshots from other teams. That's quality. After last night's dramatic win, a victory today would give Colorado a series split. That's what I'm Roxing about! (I'm begging you, please kill me.)

  • 3:40, Phillies at Snakes: In what is becoming a consistent treat for baseball fans, Brandon Webb takes the mound for Arizona today. See, we can be nice sometimes. Irredeemable scumbag redneck Brett Meyers and his terrible goatee get the start for the Fightin Phils.

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Its a shame Jung Bong is out of baseball, it sounds like they could use him in the Twins/White Sox game.

Are we allowed to talk about the earlier games in this post?

If so, woo Johnny Damon tater tot!

If not, woo Johnny Damon ding dong!

I hope St. Louis doesn't Lohse, but it looks like that could be in the Cards.

Also, here is a lovely little article from Yahoo for everyone's enjoyment on this rainy and very hungover afternoon.

Upper deck ding dong for Giambi! 3-0 Yanks

...in 90 minutes.

Damn you Iracane, I leapt to my remote and turned the TV on in my office, expecting to see a fine pitching tet-a-tet. Now, I have to sit through 90 minutes of Judge Joe or Just Shoot Me. MISINFORMER!

/vows to read all comments before reaching for remote from now on

3-2 Yanks after a two run dubble by Casey Blake.

The 700 Level is liveblogging the Myers-Webb game

WoW seems to be liveblogging the Yanks game.

I'm livecommenting because I care. Also, it's 3-3 now.

MLB Gameday keeps making my browser crash. Fortunately, I can always count on Walkoff Walk to keep me updated on the scores! Thanks, guys! [gives hearty thumbs up]

Yes I will take that advertising deal now.

I used to have crippling psoriasis. Now, thanks to WoW's meticulous score updates, I can sunbathe in public again! Thanks Icarane's Tiger Paw!

RBI dubble for Damon. 4-3 Yanks. Bottom 5th. Love me.

I used to have a good paying job. Then I started a baseball blog and got fired.

Thanks, Walkoff Walk!

I used to think baseball was only for nerds! Now, thanks to Walko... wait.

My dick hurts. Thanks, Walkoff Walk.

Walkoff Walk is a dessert topping!

No, Walkoff Walk is a floor wax!

Dessert topping!

Floor wax!

Kids, kids -- Walkoff Walk is a dessert topping AND a floor wax!

aaaaannnnnd commence Matt Cain not getting a win today against the Pirates.

Walkoff Walk should not be read if you are pregnant, may be preganant, or are considering becoming pregnant. Do not read Walkoff Walk if you take nitrates for chest pain.

Do not taunt Walkoff Walk.

Do not look directly at Walkoff Walk.

Walkoff Walk may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds.

annnnnndddd the Giants may be on their way to a sweep at the hands of the Pirates. Down 5-4 in the 8th. Walkoff Walk Comments - YOUR source for shitty west coast baseball team news!

The contents of Walkoff Walk are not to be touched, inhaled, or looked at if ruptured.

Robbie Cano tater tot. 5-3 Yanks.

Objects in Walkoff Walk may appear closer than they are.

Uhh...Walkoff Walk may cause drymouth.


Oh! Oh! Do the San Francisco Seals next!!

Walkoff Walk may cause dry eyes, nausea, scratchy throat, dizziness, and diarrhea.

I don't know much about the Seals, but I know over the past few years Kevin Mitchell was playing for the Sonoma Crushers. Then he choked a bitch.

Wilson Betemit ding dong. I hope that one hit Chief Wahoo and knocked him out. 6-3 Yanks.

Whoever controls the in-house DirecTV channels in my office building just put the Yankees game on. No more TBS reruns!

Walk off Walk may cause ding dongs. Make sure your heart is healthy enough for ding dongs. If your ding dong lasts for four hours or more, see a physician.


It's called priapism, and it's nothing to laugh about. Nothing at all.

honeynut, you have TV in your office? What is this magical wonderland company that you work for, how's their 401(k) program, and are they hiring?

Honestly, I only ever turn the thing on for baseball games and Tyra, er, the TV show about GUNS. The 401k here at Spacely Sprockets is ok, but you're not vested until 2140. Weird.

Tyra and that forehead look like they come from 2140.

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