Leyland To Shuffle Lineup; Cough Up Viscous Brown Sludge Onto Dugout Floor

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leylandhat.jpgBreaking news: Jim Leyland is angry. Yes Leyland, that asshole, is upset with his teams lack of consistency on offense so tonight, he's shaking up the lineup. This is a fantastic idea, because nothing promotes consistency like inconsistency.

The Tigers certainly had some trouble scoring against the Twins this weekend and Old Smokey's logic seems sound:

"It almost looks like we think we go up to home plate and things are going to happen," Leyland said. "We've got to grind out the at-bats and hit, because we're not going to manufacture a lot of runs.

"(For today), I might shake the lineup up a little bit. I'm not sure yet. ... Maybe play a little bit of a different type of team, maybe play a little different style of game. Maybe that will be more interesting for us."

Such as putting more people in motion? "Yes," he said.

But the Tigers tied for the most runs scored in the AL last month, and currently sit first in slugging and second in OPS. Alas, the pitching staff has given up the second most runs in the AL. The problem is clear and it isn't in the lineup. Instead of tampering with his club's obvious strength, Shitgums needs to get management to deliver the help his pitching staff desperately needs.

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11 Comments

They also play defense like a bunch of retarded ostriches.

I think the fact that they are not playing the Twins will increase their chances of scoring runs and winning.

-gloating

I was raised by retarded ostriches, so that hits close to home, Rob. Also, my retarded ostriches had decent zone ratings, so I don't really think your point makes sense.

That picture is so ugly it makes Kent Tekulve look good in comparison.

Maybe he should try banning candy from the dugout.

I'm sorry a wallaby raped your retarded ostriches, Gorge.

Maybe he should try making a trade for a tubby NL pitcher who used to have killer stuff but was mismanaged and blew out his arm and now doesn't belong anywhere higher than the 4th slot in a rotation. Oh, and said pitcher should probably also get injured in his first start of the season.

@FMRA

Rick Ankiel is an outfielder now. I said they don't need offensive help.

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/plots revenge

@FMRA
Dance war!

They're breakdance fighting!

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