My Huge Throbbing Series: Astros at Cardinals

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nelly.jpgHouston travels to St. Louis to try and sort out at least some of the bunching at the top of the NL Central. Usually when I have bunching problems it's because my boxers are too small, but I digress. The Cubs lead the Cardinals by 1 game in the loss column, and the Cardinals outpace the Astros by the same margin. Your pitchers:

  • Tonight: Chacon vs. Looper
  • Wednesday: W. Rodriguez vs. Wainwright
  • Thursday: Oswalt vs. Lohse

Chacon finally broke his record setting streak of 9 consecutive starts without a decision by winning last Wednesday against the Cubs. I had a party to celebrate but no one showed up. I had a cake that said "Congrats, Shawn" and everything. Looper also won his last start and has already pitched against the Astros this year holding them scoreless through 7 innings in a no decision.

One of the more interesting things about the Astros success is that they're doing it with a leadoff hitter that's batting .216 with just 16 walks! Corey Patterson watch, my ass. Someone needs to drop a coconut on Cecil Cooper's head before he blows this shit.

UPDATE: Bourn hit 8th all weekend. Coconut dropped.

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The coconut split wide open and doused Cooper with a delicious pina colada.

The only thing worse than bunched up boxers, are boxers with a broken button on the cock window, so your wang keeps popping through.

Cock Window was my least favorite Jimmy Stewart film.

Crappy movie indeed, but that part where Jimmy Stewart throws a flagpole through the senator then kills everyone with a machine gun was awesome.

Great, now I have Nelly and Mike Jones lyrics running through my head.

A new co-worker was born and raised in the STL, he's first person I've ever met with that status. He's a goofy nerd, so I will now assume the same for all Saint Louisianans.

More people die per year from coconuts falling on them, than shark attacks.


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