Prepare Your Baby Daughter to Become a Baseball Whore

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Ever wish that someone could come up with a baseball version of Baby Einstein, those annoyingly cloying DVD's that supposedly help boost babies' brain power but actually hinder their language skills? Yeah, me neither. Still, that didn't stop a company named Team Baby Entertainment from putting out DVD's like Dodgers Baby, for those ridiculous Dodgers fans who want to brainwash their offspring into rooting for some mediocre team:

   "You love your kids, you love your family, and you love your Los Angles Dodgers™! Now you can combine them all with this exciting new Team Baby Entertainment DVD. Dodgers™ BABY combines all the great things you love about the team, with all the things you want your young fans to learn -- numbers, letters, shapes, colors and more. Narrated by Alyssa Milano, and featuring original Team Baby Entertainment music, DODGERS™ BABY is the ideal way to raise tomorrow's fans today!"

Holy shit, it's narrated by Alyssa Milano, who has dated Barry Zito, Brad Penny, Carl Pavano, and once did this? Does she give out tips for dressing slutty to improve one's chances to hook up with a professional athlete? Who in their right mind would want to teach their daughters such things? Oh...right.

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Dress Your Family In Courdoroy And Slutty Babydoll Jerseys

Does she give out tips for dressing slutty to improve one's chances to hook up with a professional athlete?

/purchases DVD

My, she's got the developmental gamut covered. Kids can go right from Dodgers Baby to Teen Heat, then prep for college with Poison Ivy. She's a parenting tour-de-force.

I would do the crap out of Alyssa Milano.


Then prep for post-graduate work with Below Utopia and Embrace of the Vampire.

Also, @FMRA

That post where you referenced the A's bullpen catcher...was that this year or in the past?

When I discovered this website, they only had Yankees, Red Sox and Cardinals. They have since added the Dodgers? That's a weird foursome to pick.

Farthammer, it was last year at the first series the A's played at Fenway. Cute redhead.



No FMRA, I am a brunette with a shaved head and pouty lips.

I asked because that bullpen catcher you sinfully lusted for(Brandon Buckley) was a local favorite and this year Billy Beane canned him because he's a jerkhead and loves soccer.

To be honest, I was thinking about it, and I'm actually kind of surprised something like this didn't already exist. I feel like Pack fans would have been all over this long ago.

(if I make a football joke on a baseball blog, what happens?)


/glances out window, notices mushroom cloud

Nothing happens. Everything is cool.

OMG!! That's totally him! Farthammer, you just made my day.

-- futuremrsbrandonbuckley

And I just ruined it! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Pshh like I'm going to let some other broad get in my way.

uhh hang on to this thread... I have a feeling the FBI may have to subpoena it at some point

holy god...Lenny Dinardo's wife is easily the hottest girl I will randomly come across on the Internet all day.


Perhaps she had an advance copy of Dodgers Baby when she was a kid

MAN! Look at all the chicks this blog drags in! Way to go, buddies.

Also, I would totally do Alyssa too, except she's been with Barry Zito, and I have a thing about sloppy seconds.

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