Shawn Chacon Feels No Joy, No Pain

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no exit.jpg In today's Houston Chronicle, Jose De Jesus Ortiz points out a record that was tied this weekend, to little fanfare. Shawn Chacon is the first pitcher in 43 years to start a season with eight no decisions. His ph balanced start matches the standard for neutrality set by the immortal Dick Stigman in 1965. Shawn you fucking nihilist, what do you think of all this?

"Today was a case of us facing a pretty doggone good pitcher (Hiroki Kuroda) and the offense picking me up late," Chacon said. "The last couple of times, I think we've been behind, and they've come back late and scored some runs, and we ended up winning the game.

"It's pretty weird. I definitely want to get a win before I get a loss. I'll keep taking them (no- decisions) as long as we're winning."


Wow. Sorry I asked. That's boring. Although I am surprised he said "doggone." When will Mr. Chacon get to experience the thrill of victory and/or the agony of the feet? Lord only knows, but rest assured Dick Stigman will be watching, ready to pop open a bottle of room temperature water if his record stays intact.

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11 Comments

That's like my friend in college who would always bring a girl home but he would never get anything more then a hand job. It's better then getting nothing (barely) but it's not something that you can brag to your friends about.

There once was a pitcher named Shawn Chacon
Whose ballclub just keep getting pwn3d
He never did win
Or lose anything
Perhaps he's just stuck in the Twilight Zone

But soft! What light through yonder window breaks?
It is Houston, and Shawn Chacon is the... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

HAHA also the phrase "little fanfare" made me envision a teeny marching band playing teeny trombones in a teeny parade.

ummmm I've been at my office since the ass-crack of dawn I might be about to lose it

Back in the day, we called him "Stick Digman."

Your Neutralness, it's a Beige Alert!

Oh SNAP. All hail the Jiegel.

"Tell my wife I said... hello."

Foos on Weds btw

        

Asdribble Cabrera just made a Vizquelian play. First true doubleheader for the Tribe since 1997 and it looks like all of 26 people made it to the Jake this afternoon.

Joy (c'mon, c'mon y'all)
And Pain (yeah, yeah)
Sunshine (give it to 'em now)
And Rain

/Rob Base'd

Although I am surprised he said "doggone."

It's like he was channeling Roy Williams.

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