The Waste Land: Today's NINE Afternoon Games, Part 2

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  • 2:20, Padres at Cubs: Cubs have won 5 of 6 on this homestand. Greg Maddux makes what "might" be his "final" trip "to" Wrigley. I find this suspect at best and will do no sentimentalizing. I will say that he's 12-3 with a 2.56 ERA in 22 career starts against the Cubs including 6-1/2.32 as a visitor at Wrigley. In other geratric news, Jim Edmonds is starting in center and batting sixth for the Cubs. He is currently being paid by St. Louis, San Diego and Chicago. At the same time. To hit .200. What a country.

  • 3:45, Astros at Giants: As Rob pointed out yesterday, Lance "Stained" Berkman is going apeshit. he tacked on another 2 run homer last night. Should be interesting to see him face off against Timmay Lincecum today. Unstoppable force, immovable object and all that jazz. The Astros send out Chris Sampson.

  • 4:10 Yankees at Rays: Ian Kennedy is back from the minors and boy are his arms tired. Which is very problematic for a pitcher. Joe Girardi had a 35 minute "team meeting" before last night's win. I put team meeting in quotes because I heard they were playing Mario Kart on Wii. That shit is rad. The first place Rays have ace Scott Kazmir on the hill. What better way to celebrate his new $28.5M extension?

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best goddamn nickname ever.

Lance "Stained" Berkman

I dont' get this one

Chris Sampson's least favorite song? "Hey there Delilah"

Andruw Jones hit a tater tot off Ben Sheets.

No word on Uecker yet.

Jhonny Peralta with a tater as well!

Also, the Brewers' bullpen situation just got a little more Riske.

/kills self

I actually started Maddux against Dempster this afternoon... tricky! Hopefully they'll both go 9 scoreless innings and then someone else (come on, Derrek Lee!) will hit home the game-winner in the 10th.

Fried Plaintains for everyone!


/kills self... again

If we could post images in the comments I'd post a sweet one of Maddux's rookie card where he has a moustache.

Edmonds is currently batting against Maddux... is it me, or did it just get older in here?

Words can not express my hatred for that mascara-wearing, collie-loving, always over-rated, dick-weed.

Edmonds, that is. I've never met CTC, so I'm not sure if he wears mascara.

cough... Ahem.

Now batting cleanup for the St. Louis Cardinals...

/removes panties

Your private parts?

CTC molests collies.

5th inning of day one of the Edmonds Nightmare.... the Padres intentionally walk Fukkake to get to Lassie.

No word if the punk took an upper-cut swing at any of the pitches from the on-deck circle.

Pelfrey had a no-hitter into the seventh. But the Mets lost 1-0.

@The Kid In The Sombrero

I don't wear mascara because i'm naturally FABULOUS!!!

Akinori Iwamura leadoff tater dong for the Rays. Sigh.

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