The Waste Land: Today's NINE Afternoon Games, Part 1

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  • 12:05: A's at Indians: Cleveland goes for the sweep. Aaron Laffey started this scoreless starter streak and he looks to extend it today against the A's. The only thing that pleases me about it is that they're doing it without Jake Westbrook. I hope the streak is at 125 when he comes back and then he gives up 11 runs in 1/3 of an inning. He sucks.

  • 1:05: Dodgers at Brewers: The Dodger Blues need to pull out of their mini-freefall if they want to keep pace with Arizona. Last night was their first win in over a week, but it won't get any easier today against Ben "Stained" Sheets. Just get to that bullpen. Milwaukee has ten losses in games where they've held a lead.

  • 1:10: Nationals at Mets: The Nats look to take 3 of 4 from the middling Mets. Recently recalled Jason Bergmann will make the start for Washington against The Immortal Mike Pelfrey. Aaron Boone plays first base for the Nationals with Nick Johnson hurt. That's last place depth!

  • 1:10 Blue Jays at Twins: Just when I'd left them for dead, the Blue Jays are going for their first sweep at the Metrodome since 2003. Matt Stairs is 6-10 with 2 Ding Dongs and 5 RBI in his last 4 games. Makes the Thomas move look ok. Dustin McGowan takes on Glen Perkins.

  • 1:15 Pirates at Cardinals: Ian Snell is having a disappointing 2008. Both your WoW editors are big fans, but he has yet to validate our admiration this year. He'll take the mound against Joel Pinero, who we both think stinks. According to my friends at STATS, St. Louis has left a ridiculous 364 men on base in 42 games. That's 8 1/2 per game. For a team scoring 4.5 runs per game. That's a harbinger of bad times.

  • 2:10, Tigers at Royals: Gil Meche! Kenny Rog...zzzzzzz. Oops. Sorry. The Royals are looking to sweep the Tigers. I'm so glad I couldn't stop talking about how awesome Detroit was going to be. Why do you even read this website? According to Jim Leyland (that asshole), "We have had all the combinations that lead to losing instead of winning. Things aren't going against us. We're not making good things happen." You better make some time for that shit, Jimmy.

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Tigers, Tigers, burning bright. What the anvil!?! What the chain is going on? And talk about fearful symmetry, yeesh.

Ben "Stained" Sheets

Ha! Comic genius! Where do you come up with this stuff?

I love when my team plays a Thursday day game because it frees my night up so I can watch Greys An.... er um, I mean The Office.

God, it's been almost 5 years and I STILL have a mini-seizure every time I see the name "Aaron Boone."

I have the same thing happen to me when I hear the name "Oprah"

That scoreless streak is a Laffey matter

Do I dare to eat a peach?

Oakland scored a run on the Indians

@BC Twins Fan

Your mother wears combat boots.

And is Jewish.

Your mother's a slot

Nine afternoon games = 178 mentions of "getaway day" by local broadcasters.

In Oakland they're not "getaway" games because none of their fans have jobs anyway ROTFLMAOLOLLERSKATES!!!!!!!1!1

In Oakland, they're called "OHMIGOD GET AWAY FROM OAKLAND AS FAST AS YOU CAN" games.

Let's get hyphy!

I thought they called it ghostride away day.

Now batting second for Oakland ... the shortstop ... Too $hort.

Bobby Crosby's walkout music is just a muffler whistle. woo WOOOOOOOO!

Oakland A's fans are cool as long as you're not obnoxious about being an opposing fan. Clap politely and all that; you'll get a friendly ribbing but nothing more (unless the A's are getting smoked and you won't shut up about it, then you'll get threatened and your girlfriend will get a jelly doughnut). A's fans generally appreciate good baseball and can discuss it, no matter the team.

RAIDER fans are the ones who will try and fight you if you wear normal clothes that have one of the opposing teams' colors (this happened to me before and I'm from the gat damn east bay).

This PSA regarding Oakland fans has been brought to you by Farthammer.

your girlfriend will get a jelly doughnut

Like, a doughnut doughnut or something that has nothing to do with doughnuts?

Hey, the Indians radio announcers just attacked Frank Thomas for clogging up the bases. GOOD WORK DUMBASS

honeynut, that was awesome.


I can't access FMRA's link at work, but I assume it is correct. I.E. circular facial, punch her in the nose to create a red and glazed look of a jelly doughnut.

Not this again

I give you the money, you give me the doughnut... end of transaction. We don't need bring ink and paper into this.

I'll take a bottle of anything, and a glazed donut.

To go!

I think I've scored 2 runs off of Kenny Rogers from my desk

To be fair, you're playing online baseball with Kenny Rogers, the country singer.

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