We Real Cool: Today's Doubleheaders

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  • 12:35, Braves at Pirates: The first of today's two doubleheaders starts off in scenic Pittsburgh, PA. In the first game it's Jair Jurrjens vs. Phil Dumatrait, who I believe are also UN representatives. The second game pits Tim Hudson against John Van Benschoten, the latter of whom I believe to be a UN representative. The Pirates have won 5 straight, and haven't won 6 in a row since 2004. Coincidentally that is the last time Van Benschoten won a major league decision. Pirates fever!

  • 4:05, Blue Jays at Indians: The second two-headed tilt starts in Cleveland with A.J. Burnett taking on Fausto Carmona. Carmona looks to regain some of his dominance from last year. Fausto, may I suggest you stop walking so many dudes? Toronto finds themselves banged up once again with Eckstein, MacDonald and now Vernon Wells all getting their Creampuff on. The second game pits Shaun Marcum against Cliff Lee in the best pitching matchup of the day. Lee has to have a bad start somewhere along the line, but don't expect it to be against this MASH unit of a Toronto lineup.

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I think Rob should live glog the Braves/Pirates game.

Rob skipped school.

Harry and the kids are dead

Freddy Sanchez knocked in three runs; Pirates up 3-0.

I can't wait for the second game of the doubleheader to start at 3:33AM.

Braves have stranded 10 runners through 6 innings.

Jeff Francoeur was actually stranded on a deserted island in the middle of the Allegheny River.

Pirates radio crew just referred to Jair Jurrjens as "Jar Jerkins".

Now I'm torn. Tribe game and Iron Man both start at 4. What's a boy to do?

Jar Jerkins is the vasoline in your night stand.

Five hits, five walks, three errors and the Braves still can't score? Sheesh.

Chief Wahoo, I find that decisions like those are always easiest when predicated upon consideration of which option will most readily lend itself to getting -- what's the word? -- ah yes: shitfaced.

Make that 12 runners stranded through seven innings for the Braves.

+1 Matt

Sounds like baseball then, FMA. Good call.

You can still get plenty shitfaced at a movie. Just sneak some rum in a water bottle and pour into coke. It's not that hard.

Adam LaRoche tater tot. 5-0 Pirates.

Yeah, that's a good technique... WHEN YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL (and like sneaking into your brother school's dance so you can make out under the bleachers with that guy from the baseball team and whaaaaa...)

Sorry, I think I'm bitter about the Twins series this weekend. I'm considering adopting an NL team so I can avoid games like that in the future. Hey Jeremy Hermida's pretty hot!


I used to never do that until they started raising the price of beer so much at the dome. The price of beer is forcing me to sneak in my own booze for the games. Now that i have perfected my techniques of sneaking in booze to the game I use my new skill to sneak in booze to other places like movies, concerts, church, ect.

Pirates win 5-0. Braves strand FIFTEEN runners in the game.

Atlanta is starting off the second game slow. They only left on runner on in the first. That's a bit below average.

This is worse than when Sherman came through.

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