Wednesday Afternoon Liveglog Club: Red Sox @ Orioles

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As much as I wanted to liveglog a Reds game, they just weren't playing this afternoon. Instead, I'll have to settle for the Red Sox and Orioles. Sigh! Jon Lester takes on Danny Cabrera today. Lester's strikeout numbers are down this season and his walk rate is up, which is never good for a pitcher.

Cabrera, on the other hand, is pitching out of his gourd mostly because he worked his walk rate down a bit. He's coming off a 1-run complete game victory over the weak-hitting Royals but Sox third baseman Mike Lowell is 10-for-14 lifetime with a ding dong in his career against Cabrera.

Follow me after the jump for your first regular season AL East liveglog!

3:00: Our broadcasters today are Joe Angel and Fred Manfra...I think.

3:03: Yes, I have confirmed the fact that those are indeed our radio guys. I've never heard their voices before, and I've never even heard of them. Hopefully they're not as irritatingly folksy as Dave Niehaus or as irritatingly homer-y as John Sterling. I'll be not-so-quietly judging them while I glog. That's my job.

3:06: Excellent rendition of the National Anthem by Bitsy Watson. I'm embarrassed having to link to that webpage.

3:09: Jonathan Van Every is the only unusual name in the Red Sox lineup today. He'll be playing centerfield while Jacoby Ellsbury plays right for the injured J.D. Drew. Ellsbury reaches first on an infield hit and then steals second.

3:12: The Orioles catcher is Guillermo Quiroz. I have never heard of him, either. Dustin Pedroia drives in Ellsbury with a single up the middle on a 1-2 pitch. 1-0 Sox.

3:15: David Ortiz GIDP's, Roberts to Bynum to Millar, oh my. That double play was brought to you by the Double Bubbler scratch-off game from the Maryland Lottery. It should have been brought to you by Shirley Jackson's short story "The Lottery". Manny grounds out to end the inning.

3:20: FYI Melvin Mora is out of the lineup with soreness, not suckiness, as per O's manager Dave Trembley. Brian Roberts grounds out followed by Jay Payton's own ground out and Nick Markakis' ground out. Seven pitches and three outs: Jon Lester is efficient!

3:25: Mike Lowell leads off this inning. Like I said previously, he owns Cabrera in his career, but I mis-reported his stats. He's actually 5-for-10 with 3 walks, a homer, and a double. Whoops! Lowell grounds out to Aubrey Huff on a full count after fouling off a few pitches. Kevin Youkilis comes up and I hear the "YOUUUK" chant. Red Sox fans travel well, indeed!

3:27: Youkilis doubles, but Varitek and Cora both fly out to end the inning.

3:32: Huff swing-bunts a ball to Lester who bobbles it, recovers, and throws Huff out at first. This is scored 1-1-1-1-3. Hey, it's Kevin Millar up now. Everyone hates him nowadays! David Ortiz saw the video of Millar singing "Oriole Magic" before the game started and doubled over in laughter. Ortiz is so big, though, that when he doubles over, he triples. Millar flies out.

3:35: Last night's hero Luke Scott is up. He hit the three-run tater tot off Josh Beckett that put the O's ahead for good, and actually went 3-for-4 in the game. This is the first time I'm hearing of this. Scott grounds out to Youkilis. Six up and six down on just 19 pitches.

3:40: It's Van Every's first ever major league at-bat. This is always exciting for me, witnessing such an event. What if Van Every one day becomes a hall-of-famer? I can say I liveglogged his first ever at-bat. Which, of course, is a strikeout. Ellsbury beats out a second infield hit. That's because he has cruelty, dishonesty, and speed.

3:42: The Nationals are visiting Baltimore this weekend. Do they sell those games out, or do people not care about seeing two bad teams? Pedroia GIDP's Bynum-to-Roberts-to-Millar, and the inning is toast. This double play was sponsored by GEICO. I don't know why.

3:46: XM Radio, which is the only way a kid in Jersey can listen to these games on the radio, plays Casey Kasem's old top 40 countdowns on the 70's and 80's channels. Like, the original countdowns with the dedications and all the bullshit. Who listens to this? Adam Jones gets a bunt hit. Freddie Bynum strikes out. Quiroz is up now and catching because Ramon Hernandez is experiencing soreness, not suckiness.

3:52: Angel and Manfra are doing it well today. I haven't found anything about their call to complain about. The only problem, of course, is the incessant reciting of sponsors, but you can't hold that against the talent. Quiroz pops out to Pedroia, bringing up Brian Roberts. Adam Jones steals second and refuses to give it back. ZING! Remember, all scoring plays can be seen after the fact on the MLB.com Gameday doo-hickey. They've got the Pedroia RBI single up now. Lester's count on Roberts goes full...strike out!

3:57: I'm starvin', someone go get me a pulled pork sandwich. Ortiz leads off the inning...with a strikeout looking. We just reached 100 subscribers to our RSS feed in Google Reader. If you haven't subscribed us yet, do it today! Angel tells us that the umpire just fetched those special marked baseballs since Manny Ramirez is nearing 500 home runs. MILESTONE WATCH!

4:00: Manny singles past Brian Roberts. Not a milestone hit, but I'm sure Lester appreciates the effort. Here's Lowell again...he GIDP's Bynum to Roberts to Millar for the third Orioles double play turned on the day. They just tied the major league record for most double plays turned in the first three innings.

4:03: I obviously have no idea what inning we're in. That's three double plays in four innings, not three innings. Totally not a record of any kind. Whoopsie doodle!

4:07: Payton grounded out and Markakis walked, bringing up Aubrey Huff, who loves naked people. Huff singles and Markakis stops at second. Millar just hit one to left AND MANNY RAMIREZ MAKES A ONE-HAND CATCH THEN HIGH FIVES A FAN AND THEN DOUBLES UP HUFF AT FIRST! I CANT BELIEVE WHAT I JUST HEARD.

4:09: I'm serious. Manny high-fived a fan in between making a Gold Glove-caliber catch and throwing the ball to the infield.

4:12: Youkilis hits a comebacker to Cabrera and is out, 1-3. Varitek is up now, but the announcers are still ooh-ing and ahh-ing over Manny's catch. Varitek returns the attention to the game, though, by clocking a ding-dong to the bleachers for a 2-0 Red Sox lead.

4:15: Cora lines out to Roberts, bringing up Van Every for his second major league at-bat. No one is ever wistful about their second major league at-bat. Except when it's their first major league hit, which is what Van Every just collected. MILESTONE WATCH

4:18: Manny's catch video is now up on the MLB.com Gameday doohickey. I have just seen the best web gem of May. Fantastic. Van Every is running, Bynum goes to cover second, and Ellsbury hits one through the hole. First and third, two out. Pedroia grounds out to end the inning.

4:24: Luke Scott pops out to start the bottom of the fifth, This game is moving along at a typical pace, but it feels a little more jaunty. The Manny catch is definitely keeping everyone excited. Adam Jones walks. Bynum ends the inning with a GIDP. It's definitely double play day here at WoW.

4:30: Markakis made a diving catch off David Ortiz for the first out of the sixth inning. It's web gem day at Oriole Park. Sox have 8 hits today but 3 GIDP's and 3 LOB, so Cabrera is getting help on a day he's not at his best. Ramirez grounds out. Lowell crushes a ding-dong two rows deep, 3-0 Red Sox.

4:32: Youkilis collects his second double of the game and his 14th of the season as the wheels are slowly coming off the Daniel Cabrera Party Bus.

4:36: Varitek comes up with a runner on second and two outs. Pitching coach Rick Kranitz visits the mound, possibly to discuss the new flavor of Ben N Jerrys ice cream. This convo works as Varitek grounds out to end the inning.

4:43: By the way 'Quiroz' rhymes with 'gyros' which I'm sure will delight my Greek compatriot Camp Tiger Claw. Guillermo Quiroz gets tzatziki sauce all over his hands and he gets a single, just the third O's hit of the day. Roberts has a hard-fought at bat that culminates in a hit over CF Van Every's head. Quiroz moves to third on Roberts' 11th double.

4:46: Jay Payton comes up in a big spot with runners on 2nd and 3rd and no outs. Payton works a 3-0 count and then drives in a run with a ground out. Meh. He also didn't advance Roberts to third.

4:50: Nick Markakis (what is that, Greek?) will try and drive in Roberts from second. Lester is working hard this inning; he's up to 76 pitches in the game after cruising through the first five innings with like, 9 pitches total. Markakis is fouling off a bunch of pitches...then drills a single up the middle, bringing Roberts in and the O's within 1. It's 3-2 Sox. Lester gets a visit at the mound from Sox pitching coach John Farrell.

4:55: With one out and a runner on first, Lester is going to try and induce Huff to GIDP. He fails, but succeeds in getting Huff to strike the eff out. Two outs now for Kevin Millar. Millar's sons name is Kanyon? Christ.

5:00: Millar strikes out to end the sixth inning, and the glog is done for the day. Go home and put the game on your TV or follow along with the MLB Gameday doo-hickey. Thank you all for joining us today! You commenters make this glogging fun.


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74 Comments

Daniel Cabrera can't believe he ate the whole thing.

/puts on authentic Gameday hat
/puts on JD Drew jersey
/adjusts "Red Sox Nation" bracelet
/buys Cracker Jack
/settles comfortably into seat

LET'S DO THIS!!!

Local commercial:

"This time of year you crave two things: Red Sox baseball and Lobster!"

It's like he can see into my soul.

Let's see what Cabrera we get today. Do we get "Complete Game nuts to wall awesome" Cabrera, or do we get "Ah fuck it, I can't throw strikes, let's throw at Pedroia's head instead" Cabrera.

The key to Cabrera's success this year? "They're trying to get him to throw his fastball over the plate."

Whoda thunkit?

"This time of year you crave three things: Red Sox baseball, Lobster, and Ben Affleck movies"

Thats more like it

"This time of year, you crave one thing: Enough money from a dubious talent search to buy your Indian father a new truck."

Who was I kidding yesterday, I never get tired of reading about that truck.

Slingbox, I can't quit you.

Jonathan Van Every is the only unusual name in the Red Sox lineup today.

Todd Van Poppel nods in silent approval.

National Lampoon's Van Wilder has no comment.

Even if Papelbon "won" Shirley Jackson's "Lottery," Boston faithful will still stone Okajima. They never trusted him.

"Boston faithful will still stone Okajima. They never trusted him."

Is that because we are all racists? Genius my friend, genius.

Advance warning - Van Every has the mix of rugged handsomeness and guy next door looks that will break hearts and fill blogs.

He rocks Camden Yards all year long,
Catchin' and a-hittin' with a talent so strong.
All the cheering fans in Baltimore
Greet him at the plate with a loud roar.

Brian Roberts (go B-Rob)
Brian Roberts (go B-Rob)
Oh, Brian Roberts well you're really gonna rock the yard.

Every player on the team, and Dave Trembley
Say that he is very nice and friendly.
He's sincere and has no disguise.
He's the type of guy you'd want to idolize.

Brian Roberts (go B-Rob)
Brian Roberts (go B-Rob)
Oh, Brian Roberts well you're really gonna rock the yard.

He catches every single fly ball and line drive,
He's always enthusiastic and alive.
Whenever he homers fans say, "Bless my soul!"
He's one of the best players on the Orioles.

He rocks Camden Yards all year long,
Catchin' and a-hittin' with a talent so strong.
All the cheering fans in Baltimore
Greet him at the plate with a loud roar.

Brian Roberts (go B-Rob)
Brian Roberts (go B-Rob)
Oh, Brian Roberts well you're really gonna rock the yard.

@honeynut

All this literary talk is getting me hot. Pretend you're a dame for a second.

NO GODDAMN FLAME WARS, HAZE. Behave yo'self.

What a very attractive outfield we're putting together.

I'm pretty sure that when Luke Scott came up to bat last night, I heard a cry of "LUUUUUUUUUUKE" rising from the stands in Camden Yards. Anyone else catch that?

"Is that because we are all racists? Genius my friend, genius."

No, actually it's because I deem Oki to be an exceptionally talented pitcher who would never get a shot at closing in part because Bostonians have a hard-on for Papelbon (and also in part because Paps is really, really good). Okajima's name could be Steve Peterson and I would have made the same joke.

So, yeah, feel free to go yell at the KSK guys now.

I am an idiot and missed the reference.

Sorry about that honeynut. My b.

@CTC

You like that? Yeah? How's this Ambrose Bierce feel? Yeah.

Joe Castiglione just said he can't wait for the Milwaukee series to see his old friend Bob Uecker.

Translation: Joe Castiglione fucks in a giant animal suit.

@haze

No Worries. If I am going to perpetuate a city's stereotypes, it's that Clevelanders are fatties.

Remember when Ortiz got ejected last night and didn't know he'd gotten ejected, so he just went and pouted in the dugout until the ump made him leave?

In conclusion, David Ortiz is fat.

"Ortiz is so big, though, that when he doubles over, he triples."

I think it takes a lot more then that for Ortiz to triple

When did WoW get so touchy-feely? Needs more baseball.

OMG what a fucking lovefest in here.

MAKE OUT

My bad, when I refreshed the page, I thought it was the Wednesday Afternoon Loveglog. Shit, I'm at the wrong blog.

This is scored 1-1-1-1-3.

That's actually morse code for "Stupid Angelos."

"Six up and six down on just 19 pitches."

Clearly Jon Lester has been replaced with a strike-throwing robot.

@renegade

He's been reading from Scott Feldman's Effective Pitching and You during road trips.

Another double play? Are Jim Rice and Tony Pena back on the team?

@CTC

Thank you for transcribing the B-Rob lyrics! It's like you can see into my soul...

@ CTC

I don't believe it, it's Jim Rice.

Do they sell those games out?

I dunno, but somehow Peter Angelos claims he gets screwed.

WORST ACTING EVER, Starting Aces.

@ futuremrsrickankiel

alternatively:

"MY JOB IS NUTTY!"

Who listens to this?

I would listen to that.

@CTC

I see your Jim Rice and Tony Pena, and raise you a Jack Clark.

WEEI just came back from commerical with Blues Traveler. That's fucking weak.

la dee dah

"Oh hey guys, look at me, just out here being a strapping young lad and playing my darndest in a game of Our Nation's Pastime.

You guys have 9 subscribers in Bloglines, my RSS reader of choice. So, there's that.

If you haven't subscribed us yet, do it today!

no.

@ Future Mrs.

I look at that picture, and all I hear in my mind is "I'm a little bit countreeeeeee.... and I'm a little bit rock & roll...."

(you're probably too young....you're all probably too young. get off my damn lawn! ow, my prostate.)

@ futuremrs

I now have a mental image of Rob as Debbie, the friendly Time-Life operator.

I can only assume that all these GIDPs are because it's Julio Lugo Tribute Day.

I'm so FUCKING bitter that I can't holler for Jed Lowrie anymore I could kick someone. Probably YOU, Rob.

If the Red Sox didn't get on base so much they wouldn't have to worry about the GIDP.

Ok I have to go to a meeting... anyone want to volunteer to take over the Lugo-hating and/or drooling over Ellsbury? That's really all I do here.

HOLY SHITY MANNY

Was that a spinkick?

According to the Boston announcers, it's hands down the best catch they've ever seen him make.

Faint praise but really makes me wish i had a TV instead of a radio here.

@ CTC
They have Manny's catch on video on Game Day

Will MLB Gameday have the catch? Or is it only scoring plays?

He really did high five a fan.

Awesome. Thanks BC.

No DP that inning. There goes the record.

Shh, don't say DP around Huff. He thinks yer talking about something else.

Folks, if you have a Ballhype account, please hype up our biggest story ever. Thanks.

According to Castiglione, Lester is hitting 95 on the gun. I call bs.

Yes you are right Matt. I am sure DP is childs play for Huff. You need a DADP followed by an ATM to get him excited

First the RSS, now the Ballhype? You can't get blood from a stone, Iracane.

@ bc twins fan

Don't you mean a DVDA instead of a DADP? Does that even exist?

I GOTTA FEED MAH KIDS, HONEYNUT

3 LOB? pffffffffffffft talk to me after 15

DADP = Double Anal, Double Pliers

I just got sick in the Daniel Cabrera Party Bus' bathroom. I drank too much Jamie Walker Black.

I don't know Clare. I'll check ubrban dictionary

You gotta stick to the desert wines, like Port or Sherrill.

RSS? In my day we only had bookmarks. AND WE LIKED IT


1. DVDA

1)A porn term meaning Double Vaginal, Double Anal. 4 men and 1 woman, 2 dicks in her vagina and 2 dicks in her anus.

Dude, this isn't college humor dot idiot.

Yay, baseball and porno--locker room talk! My dad always yells at me when I curse. "Nobody's gonna want to date a girl who talks like she's in a locker room!"

Sorry, Rob.

If the Red Sox win they get $100 in Quiroz gift certificates

Porno locker room talk is one of the reasons I stopped playing baseball and got a guitar.

I love porn!

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