Baseball Before Bedtime: I Got Drunk

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Here's what happened in baseball when I kept drinking and pouring till I felt the floor

Padres 8, Mets 6: As we sat down for dinner at the local watering hole that was showing this game on the TV's behind the bar, I told my girlfriend that although the Padres were down 6-4 in the seventh inning, the Mets would surely blow the lead. Tony Clark's eighth inning pinch-hit ding-dong proved me to be the second smartest person in the bar, second only to the man who sent back the soup with the fingernail floating in it. Billy Wagner blew his third save of the year by allowing Clark's first 2008 tater tot. Starter Pedro Martinez allowed ten hits in five innings and the Mets suffered a four game sweep to fall 7.5 games behind the division-leading Phillies.

Phillies 6, Braves 3: Those Phillies were the beneficiaries of the shaky Braves bullpen this weekend and completed a three-game sweep thanks to some piss-poor ninth inning work by Blaine Boyer. Ryan Howard's two RBI double was the crushing blow off Boyer which allowed Brad Lidge to come in and record his 17th save. Chipper Jones and his .420 batting average were sorely missed in Atlanta's lineup.

Red Sox 2, Mariners 1: J.D. Drew's tater tot helped rookie Justin Masterson record his third win on the season. Drew's sixth inning dong off reliever Sean "Not the Jew" Green put Boston ahead for good and sent Seattle reeling to their 15th loss in 17 games.

Athletics 7, Angels 3 (12): Mark Ellis' walkoff tater quad (grand dong? tetra tot?) allowed Oakland to salvage the final game of a tough, tough AL West throwdown series. The scrappy second basemen ripped Chris Bootcheck's first pitch off the left-field foul pole (fair pole? ding-dong decider?) but still gets the stinkeye from us here at Walkoff Walk. TAKE SOME GODDAMNED PITCHES! WE COULD HAVE HAD THE SHRIMP VIDEO!

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Clark's first 2008 tater tot.

Almost 100 years to the day after getting his first off of Christy Mathewson.

(grand dong? tetra tot?)

King Dong.

King Dong ain't got shit on me!

I got drunk and I fell down.

How is this day different from all other days?

second only to the man who sent back the soup with the fingernail floating in it

You didn't say you were at an Indian Restaurant! How was the curry?


This isn't a Boston sports blog. This is a baseball blog that happens to feature Boston sports.

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