Baseball Before Bedtime: No Action

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Here's what happened in baseball while I told you that we were just good friends

Blue Jays 7, Reds 1: Super-scintillating sensation Edinson Volquez finally got his comeuppance at the hands of the Newly! Improved! Blue Jays. Volquez was tagged for seven runs on six hits and three walks over four and a third innings; his own throwing error to recently-activated-from-the-DL shortstop Jerry Hairston led to two unearned runs. Still, even with an emo Scott Rolen tater tot allowed, Volquez' ERA is a tidy 2.08. Not bad, Ed.

Twins 4, Padres 3: Minnesota overcame its second 3-0 deficit in two days to complete the sweep of lowly San Diego. The Twinkies are hot hot hot, having won nine straight (sorry Nationals, Diamondbacks, and Padres) and remain just a half game behind division-leading Chicargo. Justin Morneau had the big bat as evident by his two-run ding dong that got the Twins on the board in the fourth and his RBI single added as an afterthought in the fifth. A GAME-TYING AFTERTHOUGHT. Morneau is best-remembered for (WILDLY UNDESERVEDLY) winning the 2006 AL MVP.

Yankees 3, Pirates 1 (PPD, rain): Who are the ad wizards who never let the Yankees play afternoon games on getaway days? Eff you, Pittsburgh. That Primanti sandwich tastes like cow asshole.

Astros 7, Rangers 2: Houston choked out Texas. ZING! CHACON JOKE

The Hold Steady: Choking on their own fame and dead on arrival. Fuck. -CTC


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9 Comments

I'm adding Cliff Lee to my Grady Sizemore memorial list of dudes I'd go gay for.

OBEY CITO GASTON

Here's what happened in baseball while I told you that we were just good friends

I got the picture when Rob became your new heterosexual life mate.

Are you implying that the new Hold Steady is terrible? IS THAT THE IMPLICATION GOOD SIRS?!

/still hasn't downloaded it from iTunes, has no idea

The Twinkies are hot hot hot

I hear that the Twinkies are quite popular with the Bears.

I like the new record a lot. I did not like what I saw on stage last night.

They may as well change their name to Ed Wade's Neck.

Give it up Rob. If you put their stats side by side for that year you would see that it's not even close. The fact that his stats had D. Jeter in front of it is the only reason the vote was close.

That Primanti sandwich tastes like cow asshole.

Agreed. Primanti's is a giant disappointment, as is anything from the O that is NOT a hot dog or a giant quantity of fries.

Oh. And the Phillies got blanked yesterday. Super. The Rangers are bad, right?

Clare, is "the O" that you mention referring the cow's asshole?

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