Baseball Before Bedtime: The Shape I'm In

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Here's what happened in baseball after I just spent 60 days in the jailhouse

Orioles 10, Red Sox 6: Oh my oh my I was just wondering what was eating Hideki Okajima but the good folks in the AP sports bureau solved that mystery for me. The Ori-LOLs own his sorry ass!

    "Okajima has allowed eight earned runs in 5 1-3 innings against Baltimore, an ERA of 13.50. In his other games, he's given up just one run in 22 2-3 innings, an ERA of 0.40."

Well shit. That explains how Okie let in a two-run Aubrey Huff single in the seventh inning that knotted the game at six. After Tito brought in Manny Delcarmen, Kevin Millar put the O's ahead with a sac fly. And that flat-brimmed sonofoabitch George Sherill pitched the ninth in a non-save opportunity.

Indians 1, Twins 0: It's about time the Indians offense provided C.C. Sabathia with some consarned run support! Yes, the big mound on the mound needed just one run from his mates in recording his seventh career shutout. Aw never mind the pomp and circumstance, it was just the Twins. Hey, Josh Barfield is back at second base for the Indians! That'll help the offense! Yecch.

Nationals 7, Pirates 6: Lastings Milledge cannot be contained. And if you try to contain him, he will unleash a two-run ninth inning ding-dong off the only solid closer in the NL Central to help his team score 7 runs for the first time since May. Yes, Matt Capps blew his first save opportunity in 16 tries by allowing the game-winner. Ryan Doumit's stellar night of two doubles and two tater tots was ruined.

Astros 6, Brewers 1: Roy Oswalt remembered how to pitch well and Lance Berkman rewarded his teammates efforts with his 19th tater tot of the season. More importantly, only one of Julian Tavarez' four runs allowed were earned, but the error was his. HOW IS THAT NOT EARNED?

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Run support, ftw!

Okajima has avian flu

It was Dollar Dog Night at the Tribe game, and I ate 9 in a 2-hour game because that was the goal of our group. Of course, I was the only one stupid enough to do it, so I have a hot dog hangover. Barfield got hurt; so much for the offensive relief.

"...the only solid closer in the NL Central..."

Kerry Wood's 98 mph heater & nasty slider strongly disagree with your assessment.

At least he does until his arm falls off in a couple weeks.

This just in: Indians call up Garfield for offensive relief.

Kerry Wood's four blown saves disagree with YOUR assessment.


@ Rob: Meh, he took a bit to settle into the job, and at least one or two of those blown saves are due to Fonzy being really bad at catching batted balls. The last 16 days: 8 2/3 innings, 8 saves, 15 k's, allowed 5 hits, 2 walks and no runs.

I'm gonna call that solid. Then I'm gonna go knock on wood like a motherfucker.

Wait - "knock on wood". Hee hee.

I'm jealous, QuickDraw. Dollar Sugardales slathered in stadium Mustard? I could easily do a dozen over nine innings, as long as I only had two orders of pierogies on the side.


I'm sure when you finally did relieve yourself, it was quite offensive.

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