Baseball Before Bedtime: Tiny Tears

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Here's what happened in baseball while lying in bed for a week now

Angels 3 games, Phillies 0 games: Oh, those Angels really love the road. They went into Citizens Bank Park and held the hot-hitting, tater-tot takin' Phillies to just five runs in three games. Shit, those gymnasts next door hit with a higher average with runners on base than the Phillies this weekend. Francisco Rodriguez saved two of the contests to increase his league-leading tally to 30. The Phillies have now lost four straight series since sweeping Atla....HOW DO YOU LIVE LIKE THIS?

Reds 2 games, Yankees 1 game: After being absolutely shut down on Friday and Saturday by young studs Edinson Volquez and Daryl Thompson, the Yankees offense finally figured out a way to cobble together four runs off Johnny Cueto and the Reds bullpen. Andy Pettitte picked up his eighth win by getting himself into and out of trouble for most of his six innings of work on Sunday. Ken Griffey ding-donged off Kyle Farnsworth AND THAT WAS MAYBE POSSIBLE HIS LAST EVER GAME AT YANKEE STADIUM, YOU GUYS. Well, at least until next month's All Star Game, or at least until he's traded to the light-hitting Rays.

Athletics 2 games, Marlins 1 game: Was this a World Series preview? Perhaps, especially if Oakland catcher Kurt Suzuki continues to hit like a shofuso on fire. Kid contributed six hits, a tater tot, and eight RBIs for the A's this weekend, and even caught the new American League leader in ERA on Sunday, Mr. Justin Duchscherer (8-4, 1.99 ERA). Notable milestone reached this weekend: Marlin Luis Gonzalez collected his 583rd career double yesterday tying him with Robin Yount for 16th place on the career list.

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Fox, MLB, Bud Selig, Time Warner Cable, and the MLB Extra Innings package can lick my sweaty taint. For various reasons I was unable to see a single game of the Tribe-Dodgers series over the weekend despite shelling out the cash for the MLB package.

That's okay, I can just catch the next series they play. Fuckers, fuckers, fuckers!

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