No, I'm not talking about John Rocker. The radically religious folks who run Chick-Fil-A have worked out a deal with the folks who run Turner Field to introduce a new advertising mascot, a 40-foot tall, seven-and-a-half ton mechanical cow that will actually do the ridiculously racist tomahawk chop. The ugly ungulate will wear a sign that reads "Du Tha Chop. Eat Tha Chikin" and even sport a Braves hat. I think I just regurgitated my cud.
In what is obviously a marketing scramble in response to McDonald's new Southern Style Chicken Sandwich, the Atlanta metro area Chick-Fil-A franchises have pooled their pickle money to purchase the huge bovine. A New Orleans area company that specializes in building Mardi Gras floats designed the creature, which was built in pieces in Valencia, Spain and shipped to New Orleans for assembly.
It'll be hoisted above Turner Field before the next homestand and terrorize Braves fans for the next five years. Chick-Fil-A even has food stands at the ballpark now (which are, of course, closed on Sundays). Jeff Francouer must be thrilled, but smart folks still choose burgers. Screw you, cows.