Enormous Racist Cow to Terrorize Atlanta

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cow.jpg

No, I'm not talking about John Rocker. The radically religious folks who run Chick-Fil-A have worked out a deal with the folks who run Turner Field to introduce a new advertising mascot, a 40-foot tall, seven-and-a-half ton mechanical cow that will actually do the ridiculously racist tomahawk chop. The ugly ungulate will wear a sign that reads "Du Tha Chop. Eat Tha Chikin" and even sport a Braves hat. I think I just regurgitated my cud.

In what is obviously a marketing scramble in response to McDonald's new Southern Style Chicken Sandwich, the Atlanta metro area Chick-Fil-A franchises have pooled their pickle money to purchase the huge bovine. A New Orleans area company that specializes in building Mardi Gras floats designed the creature, which was built in pieces in Valencia, Spain and shipped to New Orleans for assembly.

It'll be hoisted above Turner Field before the next homestand and terrorize Braves fans for the next five years. Chick-Fil-A even has food stands at the ballpark now (which are, of course, closed on Sundays). Jeff Francouer must be thrilled, but smart folks still choose burgers. Screw you, cows.


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7 Comments

Radically Religious folks build a gigantic cow? And I assume they want thousands of people below the cow to look up at it?

My irony meter just broke.

It will fit right in with the fat racist cows that drive by the stadium every day.

I forgot to add that we owe Matt_T a Coke for this tip. Thanks!

The Tomahawk Chop is not racist.

/sticks head back in sand

//go noles

Oh god... it's been so long since I got my burger joke fix... it's only a tiny one, but I'll take it!

/makes out with computer

How bizarre that Matt and I were discussing CFA and Five Guys this morning...

You could call me Kunta Kinte for a day if I could get some Chick-Fil-A up in Boston...

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