Sure, the Seattle Mariners have the worst record in baseball. And sure, they have the worst on-base percentage in the American League. And yeah, they are second-to-last in runs scored, hits, RBIs, batting average and slugging percentage. And of course, they're doing all this with a $117 million payroll. But did that really mean the higher-ups had to fire the hitting coach, Jeff Pentland, who was the only remaining coach from the Mike Hargrove regime? Well, yes, unless you are emo Seattle beat writer Geoff Baker:
"As you may have heard, Jeff Pentland has been fired as hitting coach of the Mariners. To me, this is akin to firing the first officer aboard the Titanic for not spotting the iceberg before the captain plowed into it. Or, perhaps the ship's cook for giving the first officer a touch of food poisoning that led him to go for a glass of water before not spotting the iceberg that was rammed."
Or perhaps, the man who is actually paid money to help professional hitters get over slumps using some sort of motivational and instructional approach. Baker may think that Pentland is merely a sacrificial lamb, but really the team is simply on the verge of exploding the entire franchise and dumping salaries left and right. Too bad they have only two trade-worthy players: Ichiro and Erik Bedard. So! Sayonara, assistant to the traveling secretary. Peace out, peanut vendor. See ya later, Mariner Moose.
At least Geoff Baker and I agree on one thing: the new hitting coach, 70-year-old traveling salesman Lee Elia, is the worst possible fucking thing that could ever happen to any team ever.