Fra Lippo Lippi: Today's Afternoon Games

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Put your pants on, friend. There's a heckuva lotta afternoon affairs to tend to!

Dodgers (Eric Stults) at Reds (Aaron Harang), 12:35: Dodgers seek a rare sweep with that guy from all the Cameron Crowe films. Maybe the Reds will score more than one run today.

Padres (Josh Banks) at Yankees (Joba Chamberlain), 1:05: Yankees go for the jugular with a man who is finally allowed to throw 100 pitches in a game. Padres counter with someone named Josh Banks.

Nationals (Shawn Hill) at Twins (Glen Perkins), 1:10: Minnesoter goes for the easy sweep and attempt to get back above .500. Nationals just trying to field nine warm bodies at this point. Well, eight warm bodies and Aaron Boone's corpse.

Pirates (Phil Dumatrait) at White Sox (Gavin Floyd), 2:05: Jesus, are there any afternoon games where teams AREN'T going for a sweep? The Chisox have been absolutely pummeling the Bucs and with Floyd on the mound, it won't end here.

Braves (Charlie Morton) at Rangers (Scott Feldman), 2:05: Ah, a rubber game! Charlie Morton's second major league start might be tough against the offensive-minded Rangers. Winner gets a .500 record.

Blue Jays (A.J. Burnett) at Brewers (David Bush), 2:05: Milwaukee seeks its sweep against Burnett, who wishes he was facing the Brewers in a Cub uniform instead.

Royals (Zack Greinke) at Cardinals (Brad Thompson), 2:15: The Cardinals have lost two straight one-run, low-scoring games to the Royals, and attempt to end the streak against Greinke, who has a 7.04 career ERA against the Redbirds.

A's (Greg Smith) at Diamondbacks (Doug Davis), 3:40: One more rubber game as each team has blown out the other over the past two days. That sounds filthy. Doug Davis had cancer, y'all.

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I'm eating shrimp for lunch -- actually, it's homemade pasta with cherry tomatoes and shrimp in a white wine garlic sauce, but no big deal -- and I suddenly got a craving for a bases-loaded bottom of the 9th.

I loved Eric Stults in "Killing Zoe."

Oh, Christ. The joke was already made. Maybe I should actually read the posts before.... nah.

FMA, thanks for reminding me that Ms. Wahoo won't let me give her a "shrimp job". She giggles too hard.

Funny, I thought Aaron Harang played Rocky Dennis, the ugly dude with the deformed face.

Sometimes when I'm all alone, I put peanut butter on my toes and have the dog give me a shrimp job.

Thanks Chief, I haven't been to urban dictionary for a while.

Its so cute when the Texas fans boo Mark Teixeira.

Why do Texas fans boo Teixeira? Didn't he get traded?

Yes, but that was after he turned down 8 years at $140 Mil.

Yes, but that was after he turned down 8 years at $140 Mil.

Who the hell would turn down $17.5 million a year to play in ... oh, good call Mark.

Ranger fans are pissed because Teixiera didn't change his name to Atliera when he got traded. Not sure why, they just kinda figured he would do it.

There are some "fans" that go to the Twins games when the White Sox are in town just to boo AJ for no reason. They are almost as annoying as White Sox fans.

I kinda like the ChiSox, yet even I can come up with a scroll full of reasons why AJ Pierzysnsyski should be booed.

Yes I know but he did a lot for the Twins when he was here. He wanted to stay but he got traded because we had Joe Mauer coming up and we got Nathan, Liriano, and Bonser in return. There is no reason for Twins fans to not like th guy.

AJ Pierznyzieskizyzye is a plague upon humanity and should be shot.

What farty said.
Sabean should be reminded of that trade DAILY with kick to the groin.

Ok fine, he is a big d-bag and deserves to get stabbed by Jerry Manuel

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