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- 12:35, Diamondbacks at Pirates: Pirate Snake! Randy Johnson brings his gangly ass to Steeltown to take on Zach "David" Duke in the final matchup of this 4 game series. 'Zona took the first two, and the Pirates countered with a 6-4 victory yesterday. Johnson has a career 2.21 ERA against the Pirates, but to be fair, mine is even lower.
- 1:05, Royals at Yankees: Those Yankees have started taking their Geritol and look better than they have all season. Damon, Giambi and A-Rod are all hitting, and Mike Mussina is having a throwback season. The junkballing old coot gets the start today against Luke Hochevar, a man whose name I was horribly mispronouncing in my head for most of the season.
- 2:05 Twins at White Sox: The Pale Hose are reaching into the broom closet for the long handled four game sweep. They've scored 33 runs in the first three games and itching to put another serious beatdown on Glen Perkins. Glen Perkins sounds like the name of a mortgage guy or a member of The Grass Roots. John Danks gets the start for Chicago.