Love Letter Written In A Burning Building: Today's Afternoon Games

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  • 1:05, Blue Jays at Yankees: The rubber match meets the road in the Bronx. The Yankees take out their Wang while Toronto shows you it's... McGowan. My prediction for the game: After twenty painful minutes of draft coverage Rob begins kicking himself for not glogging this instead.

  • 1:05 Reds at Phillies: Junior is in the lineup today! Will he deposit a Cole Hamels pitch into the seats for 600th? He's 0-2 against him in his career. Homer Bailey makes his 2008 Majors debut for the Dustys. I expect him to throw 310 pitches. Last season in his only start against the Phillies he gave up 6 runs in an inning and two-thirds. Baseball is a game of matchups people. So is sexual intercourse.

  • 1:10 Orioles at Twins: More rubber. Everyone's all atwitter that Joe Mauer has HRs in two consecutive games. Garret Olson's not gonna give a crap. Bet your lunch money on it. Scott Baker and his 48 MPH fastball gets the start for the Twinkies.

  • 1:10 Cards at Nats: Todd Wellemeyer was named NL pitcher of the month for May. Since we have our own awards here we don't recognize it, but good for him anyway I guess. He takes the hill today against Washington's John Lannan. This is the first game of a day/night twin bill and Tony LaRussa says Albert Pujols will be sitting out both games with tightness in his calf. No word if he'll be spending the day in his Dominican Igloo.

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Posada is in the lineup today for the Yanks, so yes, I will be kicking myself for at least one reason.

Stolen base Shannon Stewart
Stolen base David Eckstein
Stolen base Alexis Rios

By the end of the fifth, the Jays are just going to start sending pitchers in to run, just to see if they can steal a base.

"Marcum, get in there and see if you can swipe third."

Hopefully the Yanks can get to Rose McGowan early.

Homer Bailey is covered in tattoos and looks like a redneck version of Patrick Bateman, and Cole Hamels is, well, Cole Hamels.

Decision paralysis!

You are an indecisive bird, Clare.

2-0 Yanks on sacrifices by Abreu and A-Rod.

They're so giving!

Abreu's sacrifice was way more in line with the "Yankee Way" than A-Rod's.

Abreu is also hitless since he lined one off Nick Blackburn's face. He's so emo!

John Sterling just said he gets his prostate checked every year. That explains his home run calls.

"Baseball is a game of matchups people. So is sexual intercourse."

That Rubber Ducky looked like it picked the wrong matchup.

Homer Bailey has a reservation for 9pm at Dorsia's

Mauer isn't even in the line up today. That's Ok, Redmond hit an RBI double in the first in his place.

That's why Garret Olson doesn't give a crap.

Doubleheader in Warshington? That's twice the shittiness!


Scott Baker throws a low 90's fast ball BTW, I think you are thinking of Livan Hernandez.


I think Sterling is getting the wrong end checked.

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