May in Review

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Remember Opening Day? That was two months ago already! Just like you, the season isn't as young as it once was. Also, your rent is due. With the turning of each calendar page, Camp Tiger Claw and I will be discussing our picks for:

      - AL Pitcher Of The Month
      - NL Pitcher Of The Month
      - AL Position Player Of The Month
      - NL Position Player Of The Month
      - Biggest Surprise Of The Month

May was a crazy month! Who among us thought the Florida Marlins or the Tampa Bay Rays would be in first, or that the Tigers and Yankees would be in second-to-last place, or that Hillary Clinton would still be in the Democratic race? Not me!

There were a ton of great National League hitters this month and a few hitters in the American League who weren't all that shabby. As for pitchers, you'll be surprised about who we pick and who we nearly picked.

Okay, shut up Rob, let's get right to the picks.

After the jump, of course...

Rob: okay, lets discuss the Players of the Month for May
CTC: May was fun
Rob: i enjoyed baseball in May
who do you think was the best hitter in the AL?
CTC: this was the toughest one to pick
simply for lack of any eye popping candidates
Rob: i see your point
CTC: So I picked the exact same guy I picked last month.
Josh Hamilton
Rob: THATS eye popping...why him?
CTC: Had the second most hits in the AL this month
The most RBI
posted an OPS over one
Rob: he's a run-producing machine on that Rangers team
CTC: He keeps on ticking
He's on the shortest short list for AL MVP thus far.
Rob: i agree on that
CTC: Also I always forget to consider defense.
Rob: I'm going to have to be a total homer and pick Jason Giambi
CTC: He is my second half of May pick!
Rob: whee!
CTC: But let's see you stretch it for the whole month...
Rob: buh
CTC: Like a financial aid check...
Rob: he still posted the highest slugging percentage in the AL for the month
hit a good share of ding-dongs, saw a ton of pitches
CTC: Anchored the lineup while A-Rod was out
Rob: and he provided good protection in the lineup for Hideki Matsui, who leads the AL in hitting now
also...he grew an amazing pornstache AND proved to be the best first base glove on the Yankees...which isn't saying much on that team
CTC: There was even a tiny part of me that was glad to see him doing well... despite the Pinstripes I've never heard a bad word about the guy from people that have been around him.
Rob: especially the strippers you know
CTC: And I know a shitload of them.
NL Player Of The Month
Who ya got
Rob: I'm taking the obvious John-Krukesque pick: Lance Berkman
CTC: Yes. I was afraid you were going to be contrarian and take Dan Uggla
Rob: i love Uggla
he was fantastic
CTC: And in 99% of months he gets the nod.
Rob: I also wanted to be contrarian and take Ryan Ludwick
CTC: But Lance Berkman had 49 hits this month
That's insane.
He was on base 55% of the time he came to bat.
Rob: a .553 OBP and a .856 slugging percentage over an entire month? wow
he also stole six bases!
CTC: I saw that!
Fat man can run.
Rob: his Astros won 17 games in May too
CTC: Put themselves firmly in that race.
This was unanimous.
But shoutouts to Ludwick and Uggla.
Rob: fantastique
and Chase Utley, who is on my short short list for NL VMP
also, MVP
CTC: Your NL Vamp?
I'm going with Count Dracula for the 300th consecutive season.
Rob: funny guy
who is your NL Pitcher of the Month
CTC: Mr. Edinson Volquez of the Cincinnati Dustys
Rob: he was amazingly dominant
CTC: Walked too many guys, but averaged nearly 12 K's per game.
Only two other guys in baseball averaged even ten.
Rob: his only bad outing came in relief
a typically crazy Dusty move
CTC: Won half of his starts for a team that floundered for much of the month.
Who did you choo choo choose?
Rob: well, I wanted to go with Volquez, but instead I chose someone who didn't make his first start until May 15th
Jason Bergmann
CTC: You bastard I was going to talk about him later.
Rob: ba hahahah
CTC: But go on...
Rob: Bergmann also had nine K's per nine innings over his four starts
and a gaudy 5:1 strikeout-to-walk ratio
CTC: I love what he did this month.
He started the month in AAA.
Rob: he only gave up four runs in four starts, all on solo ding-dongs
CTC: Were any of them to Lance Berkman
Rob: and he cut his teeth against hard-hitting teams like the Mets, Phillies and D-Backs
and no, Berkman didn't tater tot off Bergmann
CTC: Well it's a good pick. Think he'll keep it going?
Rob: nope! no chance
CTC: Ha.
Rob: the Nats stink
CTC: Manny Acta is not my favorite manager in baseball.
Rob: everything Bowden touches turns to shit
Manny Acta reads Baseball Prospectus!!!
oh well
CTC: I read Roots, doesn't make me black.
Rob: touche
CTC: Ok I'm not even sure what that means. Let's move on to AL Pitcher Of The Month.
Rob: alright
I had Jesse Litsch
of the hated Toronto Blue Jays
he won four games, allowed but two walks, and only gave up 9 runs
CTC: One of two Blue Jays I thought of picking.
Stingy with the walks.
Rob: he gave up six tater tots though
still, he kept a light-hitting team in every game
and he shut out the Royals! oh...
CTC: At least they got a hit that game.
Rob: zing
CTC: Being in the Royals lineup in May gets you a nod for Shittiest Player Of The Month
Rob: so who was your choice?
CTC: Well like I said, I thought about Litsch. I also thought about Shaun Marcum.
I'm a big Marcum guy.
But I chose neither.
Rob: i know who you picked
i'm no dummy
CTC: Nothing personal.
Rob: it's fine.
CTC: But I went with Scott Kazmir of the first place Tampa Rays.
Rob: gahh
it cuts like a knife
in so many ways
CTC: Won 5 of 6 starts this month coming off the DL.
9 and a quarter K's per 9.
Rob: he struck out everyone
including your mom
CTC: Everyone
And no one ever strikes out with her.
Anyway he's still looking for his control, but a career year from Kazmir would go a loooooong way toward cementing the success of these Rays.
Rob: and the success of your fantasy team
CTC: Yeah, how's Tulo working out for you? I haven't looked.
Rob: he's keeping Clint Barmes company on the DL
in real life, too
CTC: Cute.
What was the most surprising thing about May for you, Rob? Please stick to baseball.
Rob: i'd guess the continued success of the Marlins shocked me to no end
especially their super-stable bullpen
CTC: Indeed.
Rob: also, the fact that Cody Ross had 10 ding-dongs in 50 at-bats
and just 4 singles
what about you?
CTC: Well I was gonna talk about Jason Bergmann but you ruined that.
Rob: sorry my friend
CTC: I also think it's kind of amazing that Ryan Church's head didn't pop of of his body like a champagne cork during his concussion earlier this month.
Rob: he's lucky to be alive and he should immediately retire from baseball
not for his health, but just to make the Mets seem more hapless
CTC: I continue to marvel at the lethargy exhibited in 5 out of 6 Tigers games.
Rob: i blame the cigarettes! did you know Jim Leyland smokes cigarettes?!?
CTC: Really!? Someone once told me he was grizzled.
Rob: okay so let's wrap up
CTC: Ok. We're in the meat of the season now buddy.
Rob: thank god neither of us are vegemetarians
CTC: What's your baseball wish for June?
Rob: that I'm watching when Griffey hits #600
so i can quick-publish the Griffey appreciation post
CTC: I want the Cardinals to lose every game they play. I hate looking at the standings and seeing a team with that rotation still in it.
It offends me.
Rob: alrighty
i'm drunk
CTC: To June!
Rob: mazel tov!
CTC: You type extremely well when drunk.

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This is just like the old point/counterpoint, except with two ignorant sluts.

Jim Leyland was the first man to lead a team of horses up Bear Mountain

my baseball wish for June is for the Braves to win a f'n road game or 2

Anytime I ran into any A's players at Walnut Creek bars in CA, Giambi was always the coolest. You will not be surprised to learn that his brother was a complete assface.

I will be at CBP for tomorrow's Phils-Reds tilt with a bag full of Griffey's 600th memorabilia. I'm gonna be the Jed Clampett of the eBay set.

honeynut, I'm going to tonight's game. If Junior hits 600 tonight, think anyone will want to bid on my sloppy, beer-stained scorecard commemorating the blessed event?

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