Ozzie Guillen Demands "Movement"; Sounds Like Dance Teacher

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JazzHandsKitten.jpgThe usually reclusive Ozzie Guillen stepped out of character to talk to the media this weekend, and Oz dropped some real gems about the state of his team and the lack of production in the lineup.

"There's only one message I'm going to send. That's all I'm going to talk. Just be ready because I expect movement Tuesday. I expect Kenny to do something Tuesday, and if we don't do anything Tuesday, there are going to be a lot of lineup changes. That's all I'm going to say about the offense.

"It can be me. It can be [hitting coach] Greg Walker. It can be the players. It could be anybody. I'm sick and tired to watch this thing for a year and a half. I'm not protecting anybody anymore. [Bleep] it! If they can't get it done, Kenny should find someone to get it done. That's it.

"Another bad game. If we think we are going to win with the offense we have, we are full of [bleep]. I'm just being honest. I expect better from them, if they are in the lineup.''
Well jeez man, what exactly are you talking about here? New office curtains? Are you unhappy with Castrol being the official motor oil of the Chicago White Sox? You couldn't be implying that GM Ken WIlliams should make wholesale changes to a first place team that's having a little trouble hitting the ball. That would seem silly throwing a guy under the bus that's had your back throughout your entire tumultuous tenure. I hope this doesn't get back to Williams and he sees it the same way I do... oh shit. Nevermind.

Here is what White Sox general manager Ken Williams said regarding Ozzie Guillen's comments about fixing the team's offensive struggles. Williams was speaking to Sun-Times reporter Joe Cowley:

``Very interesting, very disappointing. It's never a good idea to throw your boss under the bus, especially when that boss has had his back as much as I have. I guess that lineup will be real interesting to see on Tuesday.

As if this clubhouse wasn't weird enough, Guillen has to flip out and add another layer of administrative tension. He's created a Crucible for himself by putting a spotlight firmly on his team's recent struggles, giving the organization an ultimatum and effectively requesting "more weight." He won't do it to a team four games over .500 but imagine the "movement" Williams could create by canning their drama queen coach.

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Ozzie Guillen: Always sensible, always rational, always measured.

Ozzie Guillen Demands "Movement"

Guillen is just having trouble shitting.

Maybe Guillen's just upset because he hasn't had any passionate makeout sessions with his son lately.

Guillen is just having trouble shitting.

Ken Williams says, No poop for you!

Oz dropped some real gems
no scat pics please

Ozzie's "interesting" lineup is just going to be Carlos Quentin batting nine times wearing a variety of disguises, including wigs, mustaches and Van Dykes, an eye patch, facial scars, and one of those Hollywood fat suits (in which he'll be introduced as "Bobby Jenks").

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