The Sun Sets On A Mediocre Division

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200px-Jackass_poster.jpgThe NL West is sputtering into the break with a .500 first place team and the audacity to have the San Francisco Giants sitting only 5 games out of first place. The Giants! The team I told more jokes about in Spring Training than I told about your mother. Rob noticed that something was amiss with this divison pretty early on, but this is just reeeediculous.

Last season 4 out of the 5 NL West teams finished abot .500. What happened? Let's look at some pertinent numbers:

ALL OF THE NUMBERS ARE WORSE. Pitching, Batting, Fielding, Dudes named Barry. Everything is worse.

What can we expect for the rest of the season? I still expect Arizona to get back on the ball and pull away. I thought the Dodgers had positioned themselves to make this a two team race, but they've become incapable of hitting the ball. I'm proud of the Giants for staying competitive thus far, and laugh at the Rockies for not being able to. Enjoy Suxtober, you ski buffs.

Oh, and in case you were wondering whether or not the Padres were buyers or sellers at the trade deadline with a record of 32-51, you're a moron. But today's New York Times baseball blog has your answer. They're not.

"It's probably easier to see us as sellers at this point," Alderson told the San Diego Union Tribune. "If we were to be buyers, it would be hard to choose among catcher, shortstop, outfielder, starting pitcher, half the bullpen. There's not a shopping cart big enough."

Oh you mean for the entire division? You're right Sandy, that would be a pretty big shopping cart.

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15 Comments

There's not a shopping cart big enough

Someone's never been to Ikea.

"Dudes named Barry..."

I still don't get why nobody has signed him yet.

@Farthammer,

That WAS sarcasm, right?

My work ethic today has mirrored that of the NL West.

@Palehose,

No sarcasm. He has recently said he would play for the league minimum. He hits homeruns and gets on base at rates higher than most hitters, even at his advanced age of 82. Even if he goes to trial and jail in the next month or so (unlikely), you would still get a top-tier hitter for a few hundred thousand.

If he signed with the A's I would immediately beer-bong a 40 of King Cobra and punch the nearest person in the face.

And he would donate his salary to kids charities. Seriously.

By the way, I meant "You would still get a top-tier hitter for a month for few hundred thousand."

I can't even make a snarky comment on that Sandy quote. I feel so ... so ... dead.

Whatever. I wouldn't care if the A's signed him for a billion jillion dollars. I want Barry's enormous forehead in Green and Gold.

If he signed with the A's I would immediately beer-bong a 40 of King Cobra and punch the nearest person in the face.
That's why I don't drink with people I don't know.

If he signed with the A's I would immediately beer-bong a 40 of King Cobra and punch the nearest person in the face.

Comment of the Year

Farthammer,
You should start a blog and post videos of you beer bonging 40s and punching people in the face.

matt_T,

I think it's a great idea on paper. But I'd probably get through 3 or 4 videos before I died of King Cobra poisoning.

Go Steel Reserve or go home.

/haven't had either in years

Farthammer:

It's been done (sort of)

http://beebo.org/smackerels/fight-club.html

I've seen the fight harm footage, it's insane.

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