It's intraleague madness here at Walkoff Walk as the Milwaukee Brewers take on the Atlanta Braves at Turner Field. Look out, Bobby Cox! The Brewers are going for the sweep! Major League Baseball has blessed us with just one afternoon game today, so we're stuck with Jorge Campillo (who beat the Brewers last month) versus Jeff Suppan, he of the hefty 5.70 road ERA. Oh crap, if this is a Brewers road game, I won't be able to enjoy the dulcet tones of Mr. Bob Uecker.
Chipper Jones is out yet again so I won't be updating you on the .400 watch.
The great Tom Haudricourt has the lineups and analysis at his Brewers Blog but stay here for all your mildly snarky comments. After the jump, of course.
12:55PM: Pete Van Wieren is the play by play guy and Skip Caray is the color man. I think. Anyone can tell me otherwise, go ahead.
1:02PM: Jeff Soup's On is 0-3 in his career with a 7.71 ERA at Turner Field. Oops! Lucky for him, Chipper Jones is out and he owns Jeff in his career. Not literally. That'd be wrong.
1:08PM: And the game'll be on soon. Or so I am told. Perhaps the Turner faithful are kneeling before their new golden calf.
1:11PM: Yunel Escobar is out of the lineup too; it's 92 degrees in Atlanta right now. Those two things are not related. Annnd the first pitch to Rickie Weeks is a strike, we're underway!
1:13PM: Skip Caray is decrying the National League East for having such a shoddy June record. Heck, take away the Cubs and the Brewers and the entire National League would rather just sweep June under the carpet. Weeks breaks hit bat and grounds out to second. THOSE NAUGHTY MAPLE TREES ARE AT IT AGAIN.
1:17PM: Caray had a stroke not too long ago, so sez Matt_T. Glad to hear he's recovered, but obviously not well enough to speak without sounding like there are marbles in his mouth. He notes that it's a shame umpires have to wear black shirts on hot days. They don't, but whatever. Craig Counsell flies out. Ryan Braun strikes out swinging, like Sonny Liston. Three outs.
1:22PM: The Braves leadoff batter, Gregor Blanco, has an OBP of just under .350 and he just grounded out. The Braves second batter, Ruben Gotay has an OBP of .339 and he just grounded out. Caray gives a shoutout to the folks listening on XM and implores us to visit Jeff Suppan's restaurant in Woodland Hills, CA.
1:24PM: The Braves third batter, Kelly Johnson, has an OBP of .357 and he just grounded out. End of 1st inning.
1:27PM: Prince Fielder is up, so let me give you my unsolicited opinion on vegetarianism. I think people should eat far less meat and animals should all be slaughtered in the most painless way possible. However, I like to eat every bird, fish, and four-legged animal that walks the earth save for dogs and cats, so I'd never become a full vegetarian. Prince grounded out and Corey Hart follows up with a fly out.
1:30PM: Russell Branyan just struck out, and that's three outs. I saw Branyan's first career tater about 10 years ago at Yankee Stadium, and I thought to myself, "Self, you just saw a future Hall of Famer's first home run." Boy was I fucking wrong, but Branyan has proved himself to be a modern day Rob Deer. He's got 131 career dongs in just 1900 at bats, a rate of one dong per 15 at bats. Not bad, but that's all he does beside strike out.
1:35PM: If the Braves steal a base this inning, a lucky listener wins something. That's all I understood from what Caray just said. Sigh. Mark Teixeira just flew out. Not literally, he doesn't have wings. ZING. Brian McCann is up now; he's OPSing .935 on the season. Not bad for a catcher, but still not good enough to supplant Geo Soto on top of the All Star balloting. He grounds out. Omar Infante just doubled to the corner and comes up limping...oops! Pulled hammie?
1:39PM: The Braves bench is notably weak today so they're stuck bringing in Brent Lillibridge. Caray really strugged with that name. Infante is out with an apparant hamstring injury. That'll sting in the morning! Actually, it probably stings now. I've never done anything athletic in my life so I don't know how it feels to hurt a muscle. Jeff Francouer grounds out. End of 2nd inning.
1:43PM: Mike Cameron leads off with a bunt single and advances to second on an error by Campillo. Caray decries the Braves defense. Mike Rivera doubles and it's 1-0 just like that. Suppan attempts a bunt and gets barely thrown out as Gotay missed the ball. One out and Rivera moves to third.
1:46PM: Rickie Weeks breaks his bat fouling the ball off. Maple strikes again. Weeks hits a liner off Lillibridge's glove and ends up with a double. 2-0 Milwaukee.
1:50PM: Little Craig Counsell, the eternal Little Leaguer, grounds out to first and advances Weeks to third. Here's Braun. He works a full count. Campillo gets him to strike out. Three outs.
1:55PM: Suppan strikes out someone named Brandon Jones. I assume Jones is a Brave. Hey, who said there was a dearth of African Americans in baseball? Campillo singles and Gregor Blanco singles and the Braves have a little rally. Cute.
2:02PM: Gotay doesn't get the job done as he flies out weakly to right. Two outs. Here's Kelly Johnson. He works the count full, and then hits a long foul ball to the right field stands. Van Wieren references that fake ball girl video and calls it an Otis-Nixon-style catch. Neat. Johnson then doubles to right and we've got a tie game! 2-2.
2:05PM: Tex grounds out and the Braves is done. For now. End of 3rd inning.
2:11PM: Why do I timestamp these consarned liveglog entries? Prince Fielder strikes out to lead off the fourth. Shit happens, right? Maybe he shouldn't have loaded up on tofurkey sammidges before the game. VEGAN JOKE! HIGH FIVE! Corey Hart strikes out as well, but I have no knowledge of what his diet consists of. Branyan lines out to Kelly Johnson and it's three up three down for Mr. Campillo.
2:17PM: Brian McCann strikes out, and here's Lillibridge's first at-bat of the day. Perhaps you remember him from earlier in the day when he replaced the injured Omar Infante. That makes two shortstops, a centerfielder, and a third baseman hurt for the Braves. Lillibridge grounds one to Branyan and is tagged out by Fielder as he reaches first. Francouer pops out and we're done here. End of 4th inning.
2:21PM: Van Wieren admits to not having a cell phone and Caray asks what he does on the bus while everyone else is on their cellphones. "Stare out the window," says Pete. Jesus. Mike Cameron pops out.
2:24PM: Catcher Mike Rivera pops out. Van Wieren shares an anecdote abut a woman on a hotel elevator who was so distracted by her cellphone convo that she forgot to get off at her floor. This is the worst story I have ever heard, especially the part when he says Terry Pendleton was on the elevator too. Caray hates the fact that women drive SUVs and talk on the phone. I hate women drivers, too, man! Suppan strikes out. Three out.
2:30PM: Brandon Jones lines a ball to leftfielder Ryan Braun who comes in a step as the ball sails over his head. Jones is in with a double and Braun has egg on his face. Oh shit I heard the tomahawk chop music. Gah. Campillo is up and will attempt to bunt. No! Campillo swung away and hit a line drive single to left. First and third with no outs as Campillo is 2-for-2 today and hitting .286 on the year. Here's Gregor Blanco, who singles through the right side, driving in Jones and advancing Campillo to third because Weeks slowed the ball down as it trickled into right. 3-2 Braves.
2:36PM: Ruben Gotay is up and he's workin' the count with foul balls galore. It's full now. Blanco is off with the pitch but Gotay fouls it off...Suppan wins the battle, though, as Gotay strikes out on a foul tip.
2:37PM: Kelly Johnson grounds one to Weeks' right side and Johnson beats the throw to first. Campillo scores and it's 4-2 Braves. First and second, one out.
2:41PM: Suppan's first walk of the day goes to Mark Teixiera and loads the bases. Whoops! Here's Brian McCann. And Suppan strikes him out! Four K's for Suppan.
2:42PM: Lillibridge flies out and the threat is done. End 5th Inning. 4-2 Braves.
2:48PM: Rickie Weeks grounds out weakly to the pitcher Campillo. Counsell lines out to the shortstop Lil' Bridge. Braun flies out just like this inning flew by.
2:51PM: Suppan's at 88 pitches entering the sixth inning. Jeff Francouer leads off the inning with a groundball single to right.
2:54PM: Jones grounds into a double play and Caray says the inning is over. No, Skip. Two outs do not make an inning. Here's Campillo to bat...and he strikes out. So NOW the inning is over, and unfortunately, so is the liveglog. Thanks for joining us again, readers and commenters! I'll update y'all later on the game final score.