Summer is here and baseball's biggest sissies can't take the heat. I'd tell them to get out of the kitchen but they're already gone, sitting on their couch eating bonbons and watching Judge Mathis. He's got soul!
- Tom Glavine, Braves: Tom Glavine is going back to his favorite chair on the disabled list. The octogenarian corner painter has a strained left elbow. According to that CBC article Glavine is "stylish." What the hell is wrong with you Canadians? Everyone on the Braves wears the same thing. It's called a uniform. But I digress. Who'd have thought having Smoltz and Glavine in your rotation 2008 may not be the best idea?
- Alfonso Soriano, Cubs: Looks like we got ourselves another two-timer. Fonzie makes his second trip to the Island of Misfit toys with a broken left hand. He drilled a pitch but unfortunately used his wrist. He could be out for up to 6 weeks.
- Josh Barfield, Victor Martinez, Indians: Welcome back to the big leagues, Josh. Here's a sprained finger for you. He injured himself checking his swing which is a pretty accurate metaphor for the frustrating couple of years poor Barfield has had. Meanwhile Martinez's right elbow is inflamed and he's heading to the Deel. That's what you get for stirring that 5 alarm chili with your bare arm, Vic.
- Albert Pujols, Adam Wainwright, Cardinals: Bert has a strained left calf that landed him on the Deel and he's expected to miss at least 3 weeks. This is terrible news for the Cardinals because they are just waiting to suck and this could be the tipping point. Well, that or their ace, Wainwright, going down with a sprained middle finger. If you had "sprained finger" in this week's Creampuff pool, please bring your ticket up to the stage. You're a winner!