What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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Hope that I don't need to mention Camp Tiger Claw this week after his crazy New York week of baseball games, rock concerts, and drinking binges. Creampuff is his baby but I'm takin' over today. Be gentle!

  • Moises Alou, Mets (strained calf): The eternal godfather and king of getting hurt actually just got off the disabled list last Tuesday and even started against the Diamondbacks. Moises got a single, but then the rains came down in Shea and the game was delayed for an hour. When play resumed, Alou was on the bench and three days later was back on the DL for the 8953th time in his career.

  • Chien-Ming Wang, Yankees (torn tendon): The Wanger was running the bases for the first time in years during a Yankee romp over the Astros down in Houston, but he pulled up lame while scoring his first career run. Turns out he messed up his Lisfranc real bad and he'll miss at least ten weeks. Wang is the second Yankee pitcher to introduce the word "Lisfranc" into the Bronx patois this season; Brian Bruney is due to return soon from his own foot ouchie.

  • Paul Konerko, White Sox (strained oblique): He's the anti-Moises Alou as this will be Paul Konerko's first ever trip to the DL. Poor fella hurt himself in a bad way while taking swings during batting practice. I know the fans love 'em but don't try for so many tater tots, Paul! Who's gonna play first in Wrigley this weekend? Thome? Yipes!

  • Brad Penny, Hiroki Kuroda, Dodgers (sore shoulders): Oh shit, it's a double punch in the gut for manager Joe Torre as he loses half of his top-notch rotation for a little bit. Kuroda will probably only miss one start but he'll be replaced by Chan Ho Park, and that's not good for anyone, except maybe the Park family. Penny's pain may be more problematic; he's 0-7 in his last eight starts but still expects to miss just one start.

  • Carlos Zambrano, Cubs: (shoulder discomfort): That sound you hear is Cubs fans everywhere sounding their barbaric yawps over the roofs of the world. Big Z is down but not yet out, although he'll miss his next start.

  • Willie Randolph (DOA): Willie got whacked.

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I messed up my Lizphair once from doing it backwards. We just did it so we could fuck and watch TV.

I assume the NY Daily News headline read 'Torn Wang' in 400pt type?

I'm confused, which one of you calls the other creampuff?

Leaves of Grass, my ass!

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