God Has Pity On Kindergarten Children: Today's Afternoon Game

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Hal sleeping in small rocker.jpg12:35, Royals at Rays: Jesus, look at the facial hair on today's starters. It's the battle of Mons Chin Pubis today at the Trop. Matt Garza has been hotter than a Puerto Rican's car stereo* and Gil Meche's last outing stunk. In the first 3 games of this seemingly endless series, Carlos Pena is 5-12 with a tater tot and 7 RBI. The Rays are a full 7 games ahead of Boston in the loss column and 10 and 11 games ahead of New York and Baltimore, respectively. Today we are all Royals fans.


*just checking to see if people actually read these previews

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11 Comments

Matt Garza is streakier than a windshield cleaned by a homeless retard.

Matt Garza watches "Black Poles In White Holes" fetish-porn.

How do we play this game again?

Personally, I'm more offended by Gil Meche's facial hair than this post. Kiko Calero might disagree with me though.

Also, you can make up for this post during Hispanic Heritage Month. Don't worry... I'll remind you.

I'm just glad Farthammer survived another day of California wildfires.

no live glog today? guess I'm stuck following via yahoo box scores at work

Couldn't the Puerto Rican just get an A/C for the car to preventing the stereo from overheating?

@Rob,

The last two weeks in Oakland have been completely smothered in soot. It looks like the sky in the Matrix after the humans blacked out the sun. And Oakland is not even that close to Santa Cruz, where lots of fires are.

@mathesond: It's not always possible to tell if the car's AC works when peering through the window with a brick in your hand.

It's hard to question a manager of a 1st place team but if you are down by one in the bottom of the eighth and you get a lead off double don't you automatically bunt the runner to third. Might as well get the run in the eighth instead of having to do it in the ninth against the only good reliever on the team.

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