Josh Hamilton Loses Derby, Wins Hearts of Americans

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tatertots.jpg

So Josh Hamilton ended up going out with a fizzle in the finals of the Home Run Derby and Monsieur Morneau walked away with the hardware. It happens. Does it matter? No. Mr. Hamilton provided the viewers with so many fantastic memories of his 500 foot ding dongs that smacked off the walls at the world's most famous baseball park. He turned an entire nation on to his might with his historic tater tots, and Morneau will forever remain a footnote in history; the mere answer to a trivia question.

Hey remember that All Star Game back in 1999 at Fenway Park? Remember Mark McGwire hitting all those dingers over the Green Monster? Remember that time he put one over I-90 into the parking lot? Remember who won that contest? It wasn't McGwire, it was Ken Griffey Jr. But McGwire's moonshots have stood the test of time, at least in my mind.

Same thing with Hamilton's ding-dongs. Heck, he broke a record for most homers in the first round of a derby. That alone should put him at the forefront of the top derby moments ever. HE CAME SUPER CLOSE TO PUTTING ONE OUT OF YANKEE STADIUM. He almost hit the $1,000,000 sign! HE ALMOST HIT RICK REILLY IN THE BACK OF THE HEAD WHICH WOULD HAVE IMMEDIATELY KILLED HIM. Heck, I'm pretty sure he's in the running now to be Barack Obama's running mate in November. Except he's probably a Republican, so maybe not.

As for Reilly, his "It's a lousy night to be an atheist!" exclamation was perhaps the oddest thing to hear in Home Run Derby history. No Rick, it's never lousy to be an atheist. Atheists are never victims of an angry deity and they never feel Catholic guilt. Fine, ESPN, you hired the jerk to be an online writer. We're not going to argue with that; he's got a sappy style that appeals to idiots. But keep that asshole off the television, okay?


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15 Comments

Those tots look amazing. What about a breakfast tot that has cheese and bacon in it?

The cheese tots at Burger King are as bad as Reily was last night.

Am I the only person in America that thinks the glorification of Josh Hamilton is utterly ridiculous and irresponsible?

You've obviously never tried cocaine and/or Jesus juice.

@UTFLW
Agreed. I am sure after last nights loss he instantly went on a booze, coke and hooker bender to forget about the nights events.

@UTFLW

Drugs make the American media go apeshit and say insane things more than any other topic. It's been that way for 40 years and they're no closer to being able to look at them honestly.

Not to mention that mass media is always a few years behind where the culture is at, and sports media is even 5 years behind that. Public redemption through rehab was a thoroughly 90s phenomenon that sports is just getting to embrace now. It used to be just the actors.

So it's ridiculous yes, but wholly expected.

@UTFLW

That he was a former addict, etc. etc. doesn't make his 28-dong performance any less enjoyable (or any more enjoyable) for me. It wass just nice to see someone who truly relishes a moment, regardless of how he got there.

I fully concur with that statement. But I'll be damned if I didn't feel like 20 more minutes of fawning would have killed it.

@ honeynut

I can appreciate that, and I'm not trying to take anything away from last night, but what about the overload of "He's had so much adversity to overcome!" stories that were piling up before the tater tot binge?

@ Rob
I've done things I'm not proud of. I went pretty heavy on the Jesus Juice in college.

Hamilton can't be blamed for the media overkill on his 'story.' It seemed to me he just wanted to hit taters and enjoy himself and not talk about it, but as usual the media wants to find some deep meaning in guys hitting balls really far.

I'm very cynical, but I feel the same way Honeynut does. It was a cool thing to watch.

"Except he's probably a Republican..."

Born-again Christian from here in Raleigh? Yeah, he's most likely Republican.
/not that there is anything wrong with it.


I'd just like to add that Hamilton's wife and sister-in-law are smoking hot. That's got to count for something.

Wow. I have to say that I really disagree with all of you. LukeWalton, I totally dig your contention that there's an inherent danger in glorifying addiction. But if you've ever worked with addicts, you know how unbelievably, dishearteningly high the rate of failure in recovery is. Even the supposed last-ditch efforts like intervention and chemical rehab are usually insufficient to save someone. I think it's absolutely vital that recovered addicts who are positioned to reach lots of people share their stories, and I have a great deal of respect for Hamilton for making that such a big part of his life now.

It was an awesome, epic display. His past had to be mentioned, but of course espn beat it into the ground 84 different ways, and Reilly's commentary was just gross.

I do agree that the adversity he had to overcome was self-inflicted, but I'm glad he did overcome it and I wish more people in his position could/would. His story is now heroic, in both the classical sense and because of the way he showed otherworldly ding dong power last night.

What really irks me is nobody is talking about Justin Morneau kicking his addiction to Tim Horton's.

No one ever fully kicks their Tim Horton's addiction. They out something in the coffee

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