Massive Trade News: A's Acquire Corey Patterson's Brother (Cubs Get Harden)

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ericpatterson.jpg

Massive trade news: the Oakland Athletics bolstered their playoff chances by acquiring Corey Patterson's little brother Eric from the Cubs. They gave up pitchers Rich Harden and Chad Gaudin and also received pitcher Sean Gallagher, outfielder Matt Murton, and someone named Josh Donaldson.

Eric Patterson is a speedy little outfield guy who hit .237 with 1 home run, 7 runs batted in and 2 stolen bases in 13 games in Chicago this season. Expect the A's to demote center fielder Carlos Gonzalez to double A Midland in favor of SOMEBODY RELATED TO COREY PATTERSON.

(We owe a Coke to the Hardball fellas)


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27 Comments

Wow. Billy Beane has certainly earned the benefit of the doubt, but the A's giving up Harden AND Gaudin and not getting Vitters in return? I'm not sure about this one.

For the Cubs, that they were able to add two quality pitchers (knowing Harden is a time bomb, of course) is a huge get, considering their farm system is butt doo-doo.

One thing is for sure: Corey will not be walking to Oaktown to hang with his little bro.

Josh Donaldson had better be made of solid platinum and coated with liquid magic to make this trade worthwhile.

Is Farthammer okay?

What, no Jeff Samardzija?

NOT MASSIVE NEWS:
Atlanta signed Julian Tavares today

Somewhere in Oakland, a Bacardi Silver Mojito Malt Beverage is being poured out. Two, actually.

Somewhere in the Bronx, Scott Kazmir has struck out five of the first six Yankees he faced.

Kazmir has eight K's in four innings.

Trading talent for prospects, then once those prospects get good, trading that talent for prospects again: My career of consistently jettisoning quality players because if we retained quality players for too long, then I would be expected to win and I can't handle that pressure which is the same reason I didn't become GM of the Red Sox 5 or 6 years ago because I'm a humongous pile of flaming cocks.

By Billy Beane

Foreword by Eric Chavez, the one "talent" Billy DID retain and turned out to be a huge bust, thereby frightening Beane even more about failing because he has a huge ego and will probably be choked out by Farthammer in the next few weeks.

Joe Morgan didn't read that book, but he fucking hates it anyway.

Fuck Bicardi Silver Mojito's...this news calls for white wine spritzers!

And tonight, I am in concordance with Morgan's feelings.

Good news Farthammer. Harden fractured both patellas packing his suitcase.

Derek Jeter just wizardcatted all over the field. I take back everything bad I said about him today.

INTERWEBS PSYCHIC:

Friday, Harden will strike out 13 and give up 1 run in 6 1/3 innings and then break his ankle on his way to the clubhouse as Scott Eyre walks two and gives up a three run home-run.

/Cubs fan waiting for inevitable heartbreak.

Also, on a baseball analysis tip: Eric Patterson is very much like his brother. Five Craftsman tools kept in a rusty old Happy Days lunch box. Matt Murton can hit, but not for power and couldn't catch a lightning bug in the outfield. I don't know anything about the Donaldson kid, but I hear he's handsome. Gallagher has a great arm and demeanor - he's got the best shot of having an impact for the A's.

Overall, I'm very, very happy. But it still wouldn't surprise me a bit if my INTERNET PSYCHIC comes true.

@ The Kid -

I'm happy too...we gave up two kids who weren't going to play on this team (Murton and Patterson), which essentially netted us two ML pitchers for Gallagher and a prospect. Sounds good to me.

I am very emotional and probably overreacting. I'll be fine in a few weeks when Harden contracts Malaria and develops Hammer Toe.

Harden is going to fall in Prior's well. That remind me... is Prior still in there?

Baseball Prospectus loves Rich Harden's HMO numbers.

Please, a guy like Harden is experienced enough to know that he should be on the PPO. Its much easier to get specialist referrals that way.

My power was out for 2 hours so I went to the bar and got hammered.

It looks like that time in the minors really helped Frenchy. 0-1 so far.

These west coast games start too late.

yes 0-1 is a small sample size, but so was his 7-13 in his minors.

In the stands: Alyssa Milano, Larry King, Rob Reiner and Jane Seymore.

.....The Aristocrats

Another quality effort by the M's offense; when you bat Jose Vidro cleanup, you're going places, folks. Magical places.

Oakland wins another game in spite of Billy Beane's jerkish-looking face.

@CTC: And they love his BAOBPIP.

/No HMO

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