Ontological: Today's Afternoon Games

| | Comments (12)
  • 1:05, Cardinals at Phillies: Rubbertime in Philadelphia. The two teams have scored a combined 8 runs in the two games and are hoping some sunshine will give them the vitamin D they require to be better hitters. It's a very important vitamin, you know. Braden Looper takes on Jamie Moyer. People from Philadelphia are animals.

  • 1:05, Twins at Tigers: Hey BC Twins Fan, how's that broom taste? Kevin Slowey and the Twins try and shake off their shellacking against Kenny Rogers and the Tigers. Detroit has won 3 in a row and Miguel Cabrera is on fire at the plate. He's depositing balls in the seats faster than polish sausages in his maw. But Slowey's no slouch and has has been stellar in his last 5 appearances. I would like to watch this game.

  • 1:10, Giants at Mets: San Fran has been totally listless in losing the first two games of this series by a combined 12-0. Barry Zito looks to win back to back starts for the first time all year, while John Maine will try and sweep the Giants under the rug. Where they keep Moises Alou.

  • 2:05, Rockies at Brewers: Colorado has taken two of the first 3 games in this series, and with last night's loss the Brewers fell 5 games behind the Cubs. Well at least they got CC or they'd be looking at a sweep. AMIRITE? Bratwurst! AMIRITE? Jorge De La Rosa takes on Dave Bush. AMIRITE?

  • 2:20, Reds at Cubs: Speaking of the Cubs, they're looking to sweep the Reds right out of their intestinal tract with some fiber I like to call, good baseball. AMIRITE? Bronson Arroyo gets the start today against Ted Lilly. I dislike Bronson Arroyo but take solace in the fact that unless he is traded soon (a distinct possibility) his arm will catch on fire.

  • 3:35, Mariners at A's: The first two games of this series went according to the script these teams have followed most of the season. Close, low scoring games with the A's emerging victorious, and the M's emerging hilariously defeated. Last night was a wacky one as M's starter Miguel Batista went down with a goin strain after only two innings, but the bullpen kept them in it and they actually scored SIX RUNS. Wowza. They'll try and even the four game series today sending R.A. Dickey to the mound against WoW favorite (not sure why though) Greg Smith.

PREVIOUS: I Have Rangers Fever! Oops, False Alarm, Just Sat On A Tumbleweed   |   NEXT: I Am Going to Nom My Face Off at Citi Field


Dear Lord,

Please bring Farthammer an A's victory for his birthday.

Also bring Miguel Batista a healthy goin.

The Lord gave Farthammer a matchup against the Mariners for his birthday.

Dear Lord,

Please disregard Rob's request and leave Batista with a bad groin, plus scurvy, crabs and polio, so that I never again have to endure watching him pitch.

I liked baseball better when the Mets were not winning.

Dear Lord,
Please let our starter last more than 16 pitches today.
/damn mulder

I go into an hour meeting and come out with all this love for me and hatred for the Rangers. Thanks everyone!

I go into an hour meeting and come out to a discussion of Miguel Batista's groin. Not quite as cool as Farthammer's experience.

Tater tot Ryan Howard.

2-0 Phils, and RyHo leads the majors in ding-dongs.

@ Rob I

RyHo also leads the league in "strikeouts that make me want to sear my eyebrows with a hot skillet."

I just remembered, RA Dickey is the knuckelballer, right? I predict success for the White Elephants.

Yes getting swept really sucks. The Twins had been doing a lot of sweeping lately. It's a lot better to sweep than get swept. That is the exact opposite of giving head.

Ryan Howard ding-dong for the second time today. He's faced Looper four times in his career now with three dongs off him.

Leave a comment