The Dream Came True: Richie Sexson's a Yankee

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jigsaw.jpg

Get ready to boogie down in the Bronx on Saturday, folks...Richie Sexson is coming to town!

   The Yankees will only have to pay Sexson the prorated minimum of $390,000 from his $14 million salary with the Mariners. Seattle is eating the remainder of the nearly $6 million Sexson is owed for the season.

Oh yes, Seattle...eat it up. Nom nom nom how good does that $6 million chunk of change taste? Do you need some crushed red pepper on that to spice it up a bit? Perhaps some fine Washington Pinot Noir to wash it down?

Why does this work? Imagine every team has a big jigsaw puzzle and each team needs a certain number of pieces to finish their puzzle. Richie Sexson's piece was oddly shaped and didnt fit anywhere in the Seatle puzzle, mostly because they needed SO many pieces. Now imagine the Yankees could get that piece for REALLY cheap because it's so odd. And look! It fits nicely in their puzzle.

And yes, my prognostications came true. Stick it, MLB Trade Rumors dot com!


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11 Comments

Order your $2.18 pints of Brooklyn Lager now!

You will give me your tears Gypsy Rob, or I will take them from you.

And the best part is, they can use his strike zone as additional parking for the new stadium.

If he doesn't work out for the Yankees I am sure the Knicks could use a center

To be fair, Sexson is
OPSing
1.045 against lefties. So, match that up off the bench with Giambi against righties, and that's pretty scary.


I'm probably just saying that so I don't cry.

Seattle's so bad they haven't even found all 4 corner pieces to their puzzle yet.

@BC - and a power forward. And a small forward. And....

I actually don't think this is a half bad signing. He's a lot better than Giambi on the defensive side (but then, of course, so is everyone else) and he can do halfway decent against lefties. They just have to set him up not to save the team but to compliment it. My prediction .270/.330/.420 the rest of the way and then promptly scoring a two or three year deal from some retarded team in which they want him to play full time again

@el benno:

"My, you look handsome in that outfit, Derek."

"I'm sure Mrs. Richie will love those frosted tips, Alex."

"Your body-odor-and-cologne combination is not at all offensive, Jason. Far from it. Is that Drakkar Noir?"

"Why, of course you may eat my brains, Mr. Steinbrenner."

yea, yea your obtuse jokes are causing me acute pain but they still complement each other so it balances out. much like Sexson should the yankees. happy now?

No, but that's because I think my iPod just died. Fucking karma.

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