Twins Call Adam Everett While Crying, Ask Him To Come Home

| | Comments (4)
contemplation.jpg

Minnesota Twins infielder Adam Everett has had a rough relationship with the team in 2008, and things just got more awkward over the past week. Adam started off the year as the starting shortstop, amassing a horrific-even-for-a-good-fielding-shortstop-which-he-is-not .589 OPS. Kid was put on the 15 day DL in May with a shoulder ouchie and hasn't played since.

So now, what's the haps, Minneapolis Star Tribune's national baseball reporter Joe Christensen?

The Twins placed second baseman Alexi Casilla on the disabled list tonight after he was diagnosed with a torn tendon in his right thumb. To replace him on the roster they activated Adam Everett from the DL.

Yes, there were reports earlier that the Twins had designated Everett for assignment. They actually gave him a contemplative outright assignment form, and he had three days to decide whether to accept it. Tonight, they called to tell him they needed him back.

What, pray tell, is a 'contemplative outright assignment form'? What makes it 'contemplative'? Is it a pamphlet with meditation suggestions? Is it a purchase form for the bestseller Zen and the Art of Baseball Mitt Maintenance? Did they tell Adam to go sit in the corner and think about what he's done? WAS ADAM EVERETT IN A TIMEOUT?

No matter, the Twins are up shit's creek sans Casilla now, so of course they had to come crawling on their knees and beg Adam Everett to come back. Heck, I bet Ron Gardenhire downed half a bottle of Pinot Grigio, wiped his tears away, picked up the phone, and yet couldn't bring himself to dial the last number, so he sent Joe Mauer over to charm Adam into coming back. Those sideburns will do it every time!


PREVIOUS: We All Need To Follow Ten Year Olds More Often   |   NEXT: Hurt Hawks: Today's Afternoon Games

4 Comments

I'm sure bc twins fan has no opinion on this matter.

I think a they make you sign a contemplative outright assignment form when you denounce assumptionism.

Major League Baseball: Makin' shit up since 1883!

Christ can rise in the 3 days, but the Twins can't release a terrible infielder.

Not to worry the Twins have an excellent middle infield combo of Nick Punto and Brenden Harris. World Series here we come.

-Shoots self

Leave a comment