What's Up Creampuff: Dudes That Got Hurt

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stretcher.JPGI only call you a creampuff because you're acting like one.

  • Adam Loewen, Orioles: The stress fracture in Lowen's left elbow that led to last season's surgery has returned. That must be a lousy feeling. He's only been off the DL for one month after his recovery from that one. Tough to poke fun at this one.

  • Bobby Jenks, White Sox: Jenks hit the DL this week with Bursitis. I already made a joke yesterday about Bursitis being for old people, so today I'm going to joke that it sounds like the name of a lemon-lime soda.

  • Aaron Harang, Reds: Rob already made the joke yesterday that Dusty Baker murdered Aaron Harang's dead arm so today I'll just say that it sounds like a lemon-lime soda. What? He hasn't even had the MRI yet and is already heading to the DL so that's uh.. . not good.

  • Mike Napoli, Angels: Napoli is the latest victim of baseball's serial shoulder arsonist. This man must be brought to justice. One second you're a terribly weekend hitting catcher minding your own business, the next your shoulder is in flames. Tragic.

  • Moises Alou, Mets: When ballplayers play for a long time you hear people refer to them as "ageless." You certainly can't say that for Moises. He's had enough injuries to actually appear older than he is. This time it's a torn hamstring and this could be the end of his career. Unless he pisses on it.

  • Mark Mulder, Cardinals: Blink and you would have missed Mulder's return to the St. Louis rotation. His shoulder exploded or something and htis could be a disappointing end to a once solid career. Man today's injuries are kind of depressing, aren't they?

  • Vernon Wells, Dustin McGowan, Blue Jays: Vernon has a grade 2 hamstring pull which puts him out for 4-6 weeks. You can't say Wells isn't consistent. This is right in line with his history of one good year, one crappy year, one good year, one crappy year. McGowan is also looking at 4 weeks away but luckily for him and the Jays he won't need surgery on his rotator cuff.

  • Wes Helms, Marlins: Raped by a wallaby.

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11 Comments

Tough to poke fun at an Oriole? What kind of AL East fan are you?

Raped by a wallaby?

Nice try. You made that one up.

I thought Buristis were those people that serve you overpriced coffee.

Jenks got the bursitis trying to qualify for last week's Nathan's hot dog eating contest.

That's a relief. I thought I was the only one with post-wallaby rape trauma. Maybe we can start a support group.

@Chief - I think they already have that:

http://www.fostersbeer.com/av/ageverify.aspx

Haha, remember when Mulder had a good season in St. Louis in '05 and everybody was all excited for his 2006 season, and then he got hurt and they barely even won the World Series? Haha, what jerks.

Maybe a dingo took Wes Helms's baby.

Vernon Wells had a good year last year?

@matheson

Ha. You're right. I can explain my thinking.

I thought I'd nailed his on year/off year thing and drafted him wicked high in fantasy baseball this year. As a defense mechanism I think my brain allotted him a good '07 season.

Well ok then, I'll let it go this time.

When Wells was injured back in May, the Jays went something like 15-11...and that was before Cito took over and let Lind get at-bats

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