Who Wants to Employ Mark Teixeira?

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With just over 48 hours left before the trading deadline renders baseball teams nearly impotent to swap players without all that dreaded waiver malarkey, contending teams are scrambling to snatch up the big get of 2008: Atlanta Braves first basegentleman Mark Teixeira. Atlanta GM Frank Wren recently put his prize possession on the trading block after the Braves have pretty much crippled themselves out of contention. Heck, the Braves have more injured players than a MASH unit, so why not trade a productive first baseman on the brink of his inevitable career decline?

So who is going to pony up and win the Tex Sweepstakes?

  • Los Angeles Angels: Casey Kotchman started off the year hot hot hot but is OPS'ing just .695 since May 1st. The Angels have an enormous lead in the West but are having trouble scoring runs on a regular basis, despite what Mike Scioscia says. They should make the trade but they won't because Tex isn't scrappy enough.

  • Arizona Diamondbacks: Supposedly the frontrunner to get Mark, the D-Backs are trying to avoid trading young stud Conor Jackson. Arizona would be a lot better off trading Chad Tracy and a coupla prospects, but they still need to figure out a way to solve the Alex Romero/Chris Burke platoon in right field. Yuck.

  • Tampa Bay Rays: Does anyone else get the feeling that the Rays think they are just a bunch of smug artists, creating their craft below the poverty line and sticking it to the man? No? Just me? Okay. Well their offense would be seriously upgraded penciling Tex into the first base slot, pushing Carlos Pena to DH and sending Cliff Floyd to the unemployment line. But these precious small-marketers feel their team's success is built on chemistry, so they probably won't make the move. Hey Tampa, you know what else was built on chemistry? Napalm.

  • Los Angeles Dodgers: Tex is not enough of a gamer. No deal.

  • Boston Red Sox: Think about the possibilities! The Sox could move Kevin Youkilis to left field and trade Manny Ramirez! Still, I think Boston is only being bandied about in these trade talks is to push the price up for other teams. Kinda like the time I won Billy Martin's set of scotch glasses on eBay for $4995.00 after George Steinbrenner made a bunch of fake bids to jack the price up.

So yeah, Mark Teixeira will be a Baltimore Oriole by day's end because he's homesick.


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18 Comments

DO NOT WANT CHAD TRACY.

Give me Conor Jackson and prospects, will send Tex and Kotsay and Ohman.

Actually Tracy may be ok.

I'm irrational.

You're baiting me with that MASH shit, aren't you?

I'd trade Youk for Teixeira in a heartbeat.

Teixeria straight-up for Shane Victorino, no questions asked.

/late to the party
/WoW-free week almost killed me

Done. Gimmie Youk.

Am I the only Sox fan left who likes Youkilis?

I wouldn't trade Youk for Teixiera.

No, I like Youkilis, but I think (by which I mean know) that Teixeira is a stronger offensive contributor. Yes, Billy Beane, I know Youkilis is a Greek god blah blah... gimme Tex.

Your take on the Rays is so fucking assumptionist, Iracane.

Whoever gets Teixeira please take Francoeur too.

/swings one-handed at pitch being thrown in some West Coast game

Also, I'm a moron, and should have said Michael Lewis, not Billy Beane.

Youkilis and Teixiera have an almost identical OPS+ (138 to 139) and I'd be willing to bet Texieira's OBP encounter a much steeper decline as their bats slow. Youk is only like 6 months older.

It's more of a wash than one would think.

I'll bet he goes to Arizona, or nowhere. Boston just does not seem likely to me.

Actually, CTC, I was looking at OPS+ as well when I made that statement... lifetime numbers are 132 for Tex and 115 for Youk. That's what I based my comment on. Plus, Teixeira has marginally better defensive numbers.

Philly sends Victorino to the Sawx for Youk. Youk plays 3rd on the 2008 World Series Champion Philadelphia Phillies.

Atlanta and Teixera take a long walk off a short pier. Hiyooooooo.

Oh no questions asked, you're batshit.

/giggles
/smacks at his Victorino Hula Doll

Mayyyyyyybe

anyone want some AAAA corner outfielders and a closer with an 88mph fastball?

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