Adam Everett Loses Valiant Fight With Pepper Grinder

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The Minnesota Twins are charitable folks! They got together for a charity dinner at Morton's Steakhouse to raise some cash for the Boys and Girls Club of the Twin Cities, acting as the wait staff for the night. Justin Morneau poured heavy drinks at the bar, Nick Punto waited on tables, and even injured outfielder Michael Cuddyer hobbled around the room performing magic tricks. You know, for the kids.

Sadly, the night took an unexpected turn for the worse:

    "As the night unfolded, infielder Adam Everett wielded a mean pepper mill."

Sounds innocent, right? Then how do you explain this news item from MLB.com?

    "Twins infielder Adam Everett was removed from Monday's game against Oakland after being struck on the right hand by a Nick Punto foul ball in the sixth inning."

Obviously, Everett's hand was weakened by a night of incessant pepper grinding for the dullard fat hausfraus and car salesmen of Minneapolis who were lucky enough to pony up $250 for a subpar steak dinner served by an untrained and inexperienced waitstaff. His overworked pepper hand simply could not withstand the friendly fire from his light-hitting teammate. Well now, it's either back to the DL for Adam or time for him to contemplate how much his selfish hogging of the pepper mill has cost his team in a tight pennant race.

(We owe a Diet Coke with Lime to the good people at the Baseball Primer Newsblog)


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13 Comments

You want de freshy pepper?

incessant pepper grinding
Nice euphemism

Alexi Casilla actually hurt his thumb after grating parmesan.

Rob thinks Morneau is an overrated bartender and he should have never one MVM (most valuable mixer) in 2006

His VORB (value over replacement bartender) was a mere 25.8

Gardenhire doesn't need no fancy bartender to open up his Budweiser tallboys.

With Alexi Casilla coming back up to the big club at the end of the week Punto was going to loose a lot of playing time. Now he will start most games as SS if Everett can't play. Funny how that works out.

What, exactly, are you implying BC. Punto is a saint. If anything, those bastard Chinese are to blame for this, too.

Actually if Punto did have that kind of bat control I don't think he would have to worry about losing his starting spot.

CAN YOU TALK ABOUT MICHAEL PHELPS PLEASE

@Future -is he the Reds' long reliever? Name sounds familiar....

They should get Carl Everett instead. He is left-eye dominant. I need a breathmint.

A large pepper grinder would get on base more than Adam Everett.

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