And That's More Than a Dress

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lightning.jpgMany more intriguing battles today in the baseball world. Mrs. Fields is going under, let's hope it doesn't effect worldwide tater-tot production.

When the sun comes out, you can really smell the sewage: Day game in the Bronx! I still don't believe the Yankees are done yet, what with their deal with the Devil still ongoing. The Bombers send the physical manifestation of that deal against the Zack Grienke and his Royals. Grienke will try to replicate the start in April in which he shut the Yankees out over 7 innings. He will not try to replicate almost every other start of his career.

Fox's West Coast Bias is Sickening! Three games pitting AL West teams against rivals from the Central? Typical. Kowtowing to Big Cheese, once again. The Go Go Angels make their weekly stop on your television set, this time against Fausto Carmona and his Tribe. With Lackey going for the Angels, this could be a nice little ground out pitchers duel. The White Sox - A's and Twins - Mariners round out the lineup.

Pour Me Another Sassparilla Paul Byrd and Roy Halladay will turn the clock back to just Gold Rush times, but to last week as well! They met last Saturday inside a half-empty multipurpose facility, a game marred by poor defense and Paul Byrd's success. Tonight they face off in big time divisional game at one of baseball's true shrinesTM. The Mets heave a Pedro Martinez-shaped rag doll towards the mound, knowing that Zach Duke won't offer much resistance. The Livan Hernandez Experience is offered a reprieve, facing the lowly Nats. Weekly target of my jokes Mike Hampton gets meet Fred Lewis up close and personal. The rest of the nation will soon follow suit, kid is going places. I should really cut Hampton some sla...does that say he's due to earn $20 million dollars next year? American dollars? For his rare combination of middling success and constant state of physical disrepair?? Sorry Mikey, the gloves come back off.

Go outside in between innings, but make sure you come back and check out all this sexy baseball today. Next time you make reference to A Rod, K Rod, or ManRam; think about Usain "Lightning" Bolt and recognize what a MAN'S nickname sounds like.

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7 Comments

This is the last year of Hampton's contract (thank god)

Given the nature of the Yankees loss last night, it should be clear to everyone that Jesus is punishing Rob for making fun of His vegetable emissaries.

Mrs. Fields? MRS. FIELDS?!

She's not breathing. Good God, she's not breathing. She's not FUCKING BREATHING GODDAMNIT SOMEONE CALL FOR HELP. Oh god oh god oh god oh god. Mrs. Fields? Breathe damnitall BREATHE. BREATHE YOU INSUFFERABLE DOUGHBALL. Why, Lord? Take me instead. YOU HEAR THAT JESUS?! TAKE ME! It's just not fair.

Also, Piebald. Alright.

...it's a Kelly Gruber movie.

P.S. shoulda used the Piebald tag. We got one.

Both ESPN and Cot's tell me Hampton is inked for $20 million next year. My condolences.

And Arman, if Mo Rivera's ever thrown a sinker in his life, I'd be shocked.

I shoulda used the Piebald tag, you are correct. And part of it.

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