Baseball After Bedtime: Your Little Hoodrat Friend

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Here's what happened in baseball as you were dusted in the dark up in penetration park:

Mariners 2, Rays 2 1: Hey! What happened?!? The pendulum is swinging back the other way for the Rays. Tampa's gotta play on the road sometimes, and when the other team gets last licks, they sometimes take advantage. With the game knotted at one in the bottom of the ninth, Raul B. Ibanez knocked a walkoff tater dong off reliever Dan Wheeler to win one for the M's. This game lasted 129 minutes, shorter by 83 minutes than the director's cut of Goodfellas.

Nationals 12, Rockies 6: Technically, this was a doubleheader, but Warshington won both games by the score of 6-3, so don't argue with me. Lastings Milledge went 5-for-9 on the day with two ding-dongs and five Raul B. Ibanezes; the Nats have taken 6 of their last 7 games to bring them closer than 20 games outta first. Wieners!

Tigers 8, White Sox 3: On the same day Walkoff Walk posted its fiery Detroit obituary, the Tigers began their ascension to first place anew with a smothering of the Chicargo Fightin' Ozzies. Fernando Rodney done got his second save while Carlos Quentin's AL-leading 30th funny bone went for naught.

Yankees 3, Rangers 0: Wang out for the year? Joba has a shoulder ouchie? Hughes and Kennedy got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel? No worries, Mike Mussina will pitch seven shutout innings against the highest scoring team in all the land and pick up his 15th win. Ol' Crosswords McStanfordpants should get nine more starts on the year; win five of 'em and he's a hall-of-famer.

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Anyone who watched football last night has to serve a 3 minute suspension from commenting on WoW,

Mariners 2, Rays 2

A tie, Iracane? I think you're the one that should get the 3 minute suspension. Consider this a WoW mutiny. WHO IS WITH ME?

Brady Quinn is the best QB in Cleveland, without question.

I'm just happy because this is the only blog in blogarctica that hasn't mentioned that other guy who plays football and may I ballgagged by Joe Maddon if I mention his name.

Doing that Morning Juice has turned me into a mistake-making fool.

I'm going to see The Hold Steady tomorrow and I'm wearing my shrimp shirt. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

The door to the penalty box is stuck, can someone please let me out?

I watched an inning of the LLWS game, but with the Phils playing in the aft, it was either House Hunters INternational or the foosball game..

I keep missing my chances to see The Hold Steady. I'm disappointed in myself, to be honest.

Brady Quinn is the best QB in Cleveland, without question.

Now that Sabathia is in Milwaukee.

No football for me last night, I was watching A-Rod try to manage a productive at bat.

Chief, I didn't watch last night but I haven't heard too many good things about Quinn during training camp. I'm sticking with Horse Balls Anderson.

I was waiting for my ride and I got jumped from behind and I got punctured.

Which had never happened at my bus stop before.

I was fishing last night (getting drunk on a boat instead of my couch) so I didn't watch anything.

Raul Ibanez is the Ted Williams of our age.

\ducks lightning bolts

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