Mariners 2, Rays
2 1: Hey! What happened?!? The pendulum is swinging back the other way for the Rays. Tampa's gotta play on the road sometimes, and when the other team gets last licks, they sometimes take advantage. With the game knotted at one in the bottom of the ninth, Raul B. Ibanez knocked a walkoff tater dong off reliever Dan Wheeler to win one for the M's. This game lasted 129 minutes, shorter by 83 minutes than the director's cut of Goodfellas.
Nationals 12, Rockies 6: Technically, this was a doubleheader, but Warshington won both games by the score of 6-3, so don't argue with me. Lastings Milledge went 5-for-9 on the day with two ding-dongs and five Raul B. Ibanezes; the Nats have taken 6 of their last 7 games to bring them closer than 20 games outta first. Wieners!
Tigers 8, White Sox 3: On the same day Walkoff Walk posted its fiery Detroit obituary, the Tigers began their ascension to first place anew with a smothering of the Chicargo Fightin' Ozzies. Fernando Rodney done got his second save while Carlos Quentin's AL-leading 30th funny bone went for naught.
Yankees 3, Rangers 0: Wang out for the year? Joba has a shoulder ouchie? Hughes and Kennedy got one foot in the grave and the other on a banana peel? No worries, Mike Mussina will pitch seven shutout innings against the highest scoring team in all the land and pick up his 15th win. Ol' Crosswords McStanfordpants should get nine more starts on the year; win five of 'em and he's a hall-of-famer.