Baseball Before Bedtime: Closer to You

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Here's what happened in baseball while I tried not to let you down:

Reds 3, Pirates 1: I think the Reds outfield of destiny is already here. Rookie left fielder Chris Dickerson hit the go-ahead RBI dubble in the sixth after centerfielder Corey Patterson had seemingly killed the rally by getting tagged out in a rundown between third and home. Dickerson had three hits to help Johnny Cueto pick up his first win in seven starts.

Red Sox 10, Rangers 0: The Rangers pitching staff doles out big innings like they were super size Kit Kats on Halloween. No, dudes, you're supposed to give out the fun size candy, you dipshits. Someone named Tommy Hunter was the sacrificial lamb tonight, giving up nine runs in the second inning including another three-run ding-dong for David Ortiz. Dice-K notched his 14th win with seven shutout innings.

Cardinals 3, Marlins 0: Cards fans may have given up because they are a bunch of sore losers, but don't tell Tony La Russa. Seriously, don't tell him. He hates quitters. Todd Wellemeyer combined with three St. Lou relievers to shut down the homer happy Marlins. Ryan Ludwick hit his 30th tater tot on the year and picked up his 90th RBI.

Mets 9, Nationals 3: Well hey, at least Warshington didn't get shutout this time.

Cubs 11, Braves 7: Mark Kotsay's cycle was nice but the Cubs three game sweep was nicer. Not so nice? Tom Glavine allowing 7 runs in 4 innings. That's Zito-esque.

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“Lilly threw at Edgar’s head last year, he threw over [Brian McCann’s] head in Chicago, and all of a sudden he’s going to hit Escobar,” Francoeur said. “You can’t do that. What Soriano did yesterday with pimping the home run [and getting hit], that’s part of the game, just like anybody on our team. Down in Florida when Escobar pimped that one home run, he got hit, and he deserved it. But tonight he did nothing wrong, he got hit; he had every right to be mad.”

Don't bring that weak shit Lilly.
/crotch chop

Come back to the five and dime, Jimmy Dean, Jimmy Dean.

Francoeur is in DX? It's so hard to keep up with those stables these days.

Cycles; double-digit run innings; guys hitting multiple tots in the same inning; back-to-back-to-back-to-back jacks... I fully expect to see a perfecto this weekend.

Like Ted Lilly's fastball could hurt anyone anyway.

The Braves have hit Soriano 3 or 4 times in the last 3 series, once putting him on the DL, and they're surprised someone had the gall to hit Escobar?

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