Baseball Before Bedtime: Every Word Means No

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Here's what happened in baseball as time was right for secret meetings:

Braves 9, Cardinals 4: Hey, it's not all tears and scenes in Atlanta after all! Mike Hampton showed up to pitch the five innings necessary to notch a win and even knocked in an RBI of his own, but alas, he couldn't hold on to the lead, allowing two runs in his fifth and final inning. The oft-injured eternally crippled Hampton allowed seven hits, four walks, zero K's, and four runs in his second start of the season. In baseball, we call this a "crappy start". Someone named Clint Sammons tater totted for the Braves, while Casey Kotchman is a combined 0-for-9 as a Brave.

Phillies 8, Nationals 4: Kyle Kendrick, on the other hand, had a quality start, giving up 2 runs in six and two thirds innings while allowing but eight baserunners. His Phillies friends pounced on evil John Lannan, what with ding-dongs by Jimmy Rollins and Jayson Werth. Rollins added a dubble and 3 total ribbies, and then went out after the game for a Fribble. Rudy Seanez got into trouble in the ninth but Chad Durbin came in to retire the always dangerous (read: never dangerous) Austin Kearns.

Angels 12, Yankees 6: Welp, after allowing three three-run ding-dongs, the Yankees had a go of it in the ninth but eventually came up short. Starter Andy Pettitte allowed two of those triple tots in the third inning, one each to Torii Hunter and Juan Rivera. Chone Figgins went 4-for-5 to propel his ridiculous name to the top of my shitlist. Pudge Rodriguez went 1-for-3 with a K, a GIDP, and 0-of-3 runners thrown out in his Yankee debut; he was also showered with boos but not booze. This whole Mark Teixeira deal is working out horribly for Anaheim. He's only batting .250 as an Angel. I hope you can sense my sarcasm because I'm laying it on pretty thick.

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Clint's middle name is Smoked.

Yankee game tonight; tomorrow I get drunk and tell Iracane and CTC how I really feel about their so called "blog".

David Pinto is blogging from a Red Robin today.

Damn you Icarane. That was as funny as I'm gonna get today.

You use sarcasm?
Since when?

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