Baseball Before Bedtime: Something Good This Way Comes

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Here's what happened in baseball while the trucks were pullin' in for the show:

White Sox 6, Rays 5 (10): Rays outfielder B.J. Upton is a lollygagger. There's no way around it, the kid just won't hustle his buns to make the play. In the bottom of the tenth, A.J. Pierzynski tagged to second base on a Carlos Quentin flyout that Upton tossed back to the infield with such a lack of urgency, you'd think he was participating in an egg toss. Pierzynski was later granted third base on a shitty interference call and scored on an Alexei Ramirez walkoff single.

Brewers 4, Pirates 3 (12): J.J. Hardy made good on J.J. Hardy Bobblehead Day with a walkoff extry-innings single. This is akin to winning the lottery on your birthday, except with more butt-slapping and fewer taxes pulled out by a grabby gub'mint. Pirates starter Paul Maholm locked horns with superstar CC Sabathia but both ended up with a no-decision. The Brew Crew blew two leads, including a ninth-inning, game-tying RBI single by Nate McLouth that handed Walkoff Walk favorite Salomon Torres his sixth blown save.

Astros 6, Mets 4 (10): Mets reliever Pedro Feliciano had a case of homergivingupitis in extra innings, allowing solo ding-dongs to Brad Ausmus and Darin Erstad. Again, Feliciano gave up home runs to Brad Ausmus and Darin Erstad. At Shea Stadium. In extra innings. Against the mediocre Astros. To say the Mets' bullpen has reached crisis mode is THE UNDERSTATEMENT OF THE CENTURY.

Red Sox 6, Blue Jays 5 (11): Throw your panties to the wind, female Red Sox fans. Jed Lowrie's extra inning tater tot put the Sox ahead and Jon Papelbon's two shutout innings earned him a win. Wait a minute...put your panties back on...Jacoby Ellsbury lost a contact lens while crashing into the right field fence. Okay, he found it, he's okay despite some nasty bruising, re-remove the undergarments.

Rockies 4, Reds 3 (12): There were five six extry-inning games on Sunday but they can't all have playoff implications. No matter, Omar Quintanilla's twelfth inning solo tot off Mike Lincoln sent the Rox home happy and the Reds defense home with an F- grade in "Fielding 101". Tough course. See, in the ninth inning, Matt Holliday reached on a Brandon Phillips error, advanced to second on a David Weathers balk, and scored when Jay Bruce made a huge oopsie on a Brad Hawpe flyout. Five errors overall for the Redlegs.

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I'm fairly certain I was wearing no undergarments to begin with, so I'm skipping all the Jacoby Ellsbury-related steps.

Wow, if only there were a team riding a seven game winning streak to talk about.

Hey guys, did you hear about those Cleveland Indians? They're 12 games out in the division, but only 12.5 out in the Wild Card.

Boy, they suck!

I'm sure FMRA will have nothing to say about Lowrie this morning.

This week we go Tiger hunting. You hear me, Claw?

The Hunt For Third Place, starring Chief Wahoo, Grady Sizemore, and that guy who hits the drum.

Damnit Rob, his name is John Adams. And he has two sets of season tickets - one for him, one for his drum. The More You Know.

The more I know about Cleveland and its sports teams, the more I want to throw my body from the top of the Key Tower.

What about Terminal Tower? It was once the second-tallest building in the world.

The Rennaissance Hotel in the Terminal Tower has a great lobby bar. It's the Chief Wahoo hotel of choice when in the Cleve.

Pierzynski is a fuck-face. And I don't even like the Satan Rays.
Those umps must have had the same training as the Olympic boxing refs.


You're gonna LOVE the 11 o'clock post.

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