Baseball Before Bedtime: Tin Soldier

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Here's what happened in baseball while you were a dream passing by in the sky:

Cubs 6, Phillies 4: Cole Hamels built a towering house of cards, magnificent despite its teetering, and the Phillies bullpen knocked it all down in one fell swoop. Aramis Ramirez' eighth inning King Dong off Chad Durbin demolished the Phils' 4-2 lead and sent the Cubs to their 50th Wrigley win. Heck, it must be good to be a Chicagoan lately. First Mariotti and now this? What's next, Perfect Strangers coming back on the air?

Yankees 3, Red Sox 2: Ladies and gentlefolks, Jason Giambi's days may be numbered in the Bronx, but believe you me, the fella is at least going out on top in terms of fan satisfaction. How could he not when he collects all three RBI in a 3-2 Yankees win in the final Red Sox-Yankees game at The Stadium? Kudos, Jason. May your future be bright and full of gold thongs.

Braves 4, Marlins 2: Brian McCann's three-run dong put the Braves ahead and Paul Lo Duca's lazybones kept the Marlins on the schneid. Lo Duca was thrown out at home by Frenchy Francouer in the sixth. Home plate, not his two-bedroom condo in Coral Gables. He uses the second bedroom for his office-cum-"sex with minors" den.

Rays 3, Blue Jays 2: You can throw as many quality starts at these Rays as you'd like but no matter, they'll just throw a super-quality start at you. In this contest, Edwin Jackson out-performed Pinellas Park's own Jesse Litsch by taking a shutout into the eighth. Jackson was aided by dual dongs off the bats of Cliff Floyd and Willy Aybar.

Nationals 11, Dodgers 2: With his eighth-inning RBI triple, Cristian Guzman achieved what many thought Cristian Guzman could never do: he hit for the cycle. His pal Elijah Dukes tater-totted twice, dawg. Shame on Dodgers starter Clayton Kershaw whose stinko start pushed L.A.'s losing streak to seven. Who wants to win the NL West? Anyone? Takers? Are the Giants still in that race?

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Aramis Ramirez eats magic for breakfast and lunch, then has a sensible dinner.

Also, Pinellas Park is much more proud of Fez Whatley than Jesse Litsch.

The AL West is like a new Method Man album: you expect it to be bad, but the flashes of brilliance make you even more mad when the shit sucks so fucking hard.

Are the Giants still in that race?
9 games out, 29 games left. With this year's NL West, I wouldn't be surprised.
If BOL says the AL West is Method Man, I say the NL West is Karen Carpenter.

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