Columnist Wonders: Jeez, Is Tragedy EVER Going To Strike The LLWS?

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dead kid.jpgDon't invite Daniel Leddy to your kid's next birthday party. The only presents he'll bring are mortality statistics related to candle accidents and choking on cake. Mr. Leddy took the opportunity in this morning's Staten Island Advance, to remind you that one of these days some kid is gonna get murdered at the Little League World Series so don't go crying to him.

This Friday, the Little League World Series gets underway in South Williamsport, Pa., with the first of a 32-game slate leading up to the championship contest on August 23. All of the games will be televised nationally as eager advertisers take advantage of an expanding viewing audience that can exceed that drawn by professional athletes.

But while Little League's big wigs and corporate sponsors bask in that glow, a terrifying specter once again looms. Hence the question: Will this be the year that a Little Leaguer is killed trying to be king of the world?

It's an entirely fair query because the Little League World Series presents a confluence of circumstances that elevates that risk to an unacceptably high level.

He goes on to wax morbidly about the dangers inherent in the metal bat, even providing a Little League anecdote. The end of the column reads like a sweet combination of Matt Christopher and R.L. Stine as Leddy gives us a couple scenarios that would most certainly spell doom for some poor nameless little leaguer. It's a Tour de Force of adolescent sports gore fear-mongering.

If some poor tyke does meet his maker after a line drive for the first time in the 37 years that the LLWS has used aluminum bats, this little bit of prognostication could earn Leddy a trip to his very own big leagues. Writing for the Stamford Advocate.

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15 Comments

What a ghoul. Does he drive a car? Eat at restaurants? Live near Todd Jones? Because those are also activities with unacceptably high risk levels.

If the metal bats don't kill ya, the splintered wood bats will.

Also set to kill ya: the leering assistant coach who will touch you where you pee and then bury you in the woods.

bury you in the woods

You kinds with your newfangled euphemisms.

Son of a bitch, *kids* not kinds.

I can't wait to introduce them to my new maple/aluminum composite bats...

Metal bats are the last thing this guy should be worried about. He lives on Staten ISLAND. Doesn't he know about global warming? If the same weather patterns continue that island could be underwater in 10-15 thousand years. He should move to the mountains.

"Will this be the year that a Little Leaguer is killed trying to be king of the world?"

/crosses fingers

He should move to the mountains.

You mean the mountains of trash? That's the natural terrain of Staten Island.

"And now we'd like to give a big hello and thank you to the new sponsor of the Little League World Series...............NERF!"

METAL BATS ARE GOING TO KILL YOUR CHILDREN PLEASE FORWARD THIS TO EVERYONE IN YOUR EMAIL BOOK.

LOVE
MOM

I'm just glad we already had that picture on file.

HE IS RIGHT. DANGEROUS LIKE THIS IS WHY I DONT PLAY BASEBALL OH WAIT I PLAY BASEBALL.

Not for long, Todderino.

softball is much safer because, you know.........the balls are soft.

I hear there's an opening at the Stapleton Community Press, but Ghostface says Stapleton is where the ambulance don't come.

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