Cristian Guzman Will Knock You On Your Ass From 100 Yards Out

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Sometimes it's fun to show up early at the ballpark, grab some chicken fingers 'n' fries, and settle into your seats to watch some batting practice. If you're sitting in the outfield seats, you might catch a tater tot! If you're sitting close to the dugouts, you might get Lyle Overbay to sign your program. But if you're a pitcher standing in the outfield shagging fly balls, WATCH THE FUG OUT:

The Washington Nationals, hobbled, hurt and aching in the standings, suffered a scare in batting practice today. Pitcher Tim Redding was smoked by a line drive off the bat from teammate Cristian Guzman. Redding was in center field, approximately 350 feet away, when the ball hit him flush and dropped him. Redding went down and was quickly attended to by a trainer. He limped off under his own power, favoring his right leg. He avoided another line drive near the third base line as he returned slowly to the dugout.

That's Rockies beat-blogger Troy Renck, delivering the bad news to Nats fans who read Denver newspapers online (all zero of them). Who knew Guzman had such power? Sure, he made the All Star Game this year but that was because the NL needed a Washington representative and also, he was the only one who knew the security code for the alarm system at Yankee Stadium.

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Oh man how awesome would that have been if he got hit on the way back to the dugout?

Yeah it would be one of those situations where you hope he's okay just so it's acceptable to laugh at his sorry ass. Like when my roommate drunkenly tried to climb up to my second floor porch and hit his head on the grill when he fell.

Nolan Ryan used to shag balls in the OF during BP, too. Why couldn't the Astros have had a Guzman-esque hitman, too?

Isn't the security code 1-2-3-4-5?

@ Honeynut: You mean baseball Q-score leader Nolan Ryan?

Wouldn't the Nats be a better team if Redding would have been rendered unable to play baseball?


the security code is simply 27.

That's a code some idiot would put on his luggage

Sadly, Tim Redding is the Nats best pitcher.

@ Rob

Yeah, I know. I felt bad for slagging him. That Redding/Bergmann combo the Nats throw isn't exactly scary (for the other team) but I wish them well. Mostly, because I've run out of Nats jokes and it's getting harder to make fun of them.

If the Nats had outfielders that didn't hit like dead retarded monkeys, Redding/Bergmann would be the new Koufax/Drysdale.

The Nationals can always take solace in the fact that they are not the neighboring Woes over in Baltimore.

Odalis Perez feels slighted.

In other news, the Nationals have petitioned Major League Baseball to be allowed to put Tim Redding in the outfield every time Christian Guzman comes up to bat in a game.

Bud Selig responded by asking "Who are the Nationals?"

@ Rob

Can a dead monkey actually still be retarded?

Can a dead monkey actually still be retarded?

Proof = Ryan Langerhans

@ j. gravy


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