Remember Opening Day? That was four months ago already! Just like you, the season isn't as young as it once was. Also, your rent is overdue. With the turning of each calendar page, Camp Tiger Claw and I will be discussing our picks for:
- AL Pitcher Of The Month
- NL Pitcher Of The Month
- AL Position Player Of The Month
- NL Position Player Of The Month
- Biggest Surprise Of The Month
July may have ended almost a week ago but that doesn't prevent us from pretending that our opinions count. The month was broken in half by a fantastic All Star Break at the Stadium and also featured some great intra-division games between the Red Sox and Yankees, the Mets and Phillies, and the Royals and White Sox.
More importantly, Walkoff Walk had some of our greatest hits in July:
Please enjoy our idle conversation in which we crown some unlikely players as the Best Dudes of July. After the jump, because it's long:
CTC: Hey Rob
Rob: Hey Camp Tiger Claw! We forgot to crown our picks for players and pitchers!
CTC: July ended like 5 days ago!
Where am I?
Rob: I was too busy vacuuming my porch!
CTC: Why am I wearing this Nixon mask?
Rob: No worries, there's still time to pick.
CTC: Let's do it.
Rob: Who is your Pitcher of July in the ol' NL?
CTC: Well Rob, my NL pitcher of the month is winning it on his very first month in the NL.
It's Rich Harden of the Chicago Cubs.
Rob: That's bizarre. He only had one win! Anyone knows that wins are the only stat that matters.
Defend your pick, sir.
CTC: Oh well if I had seen that... I still would have picked him.
In 4 July starts with the Cubs
he thre 24 1/3 innings
gave up 3 ER
Rob: Wow, that's nearly a 1.00 ERA.
he struck out 39 guys.
And he's so healthy right now.
I even saw him drinking wheatgrass.
Rob: Wow, that's more than one strikeout per inning. Those poor batters!
CTC: THEY CANT TOUCH THE FUCKING BALL WITH THEIR FUCKING BATS WHEN HE THROWS IT TO THEM.
Who was your NL pitcher of the month, Rob?
Rob: I prefer the Diamondbacks own Danny Haren
CTC: He's pretty swell, I guess.
Rob: He also had a sub 2.00 ERA, but did it while walking just one gentleman per start.
His K to BB ratio was just about 7!
CTC: Always good to minimize those free passes.
Rob: He went 3-0 against NL West teams.
I like him.
CTC: So did I though.
That division stinks.
Rob: Are you implying the NL West is not so good?
CTC: Who'd you have in the AL Ron?
Rob: Captain Ron?
Rob: Ron Popeil?
CTC: I mean Ronnie.
Rob: Right, naturally.
CTC: Please set your AL Pitcher Of The Month so we can forget it.
Rob: I wanted to choose Joba Chamberlain but my inner demons persuaded me to select Jon Lester.
That's funny that you say that.
Rob: He had a tidy shutout against my Yankees.
That's enough for me.
CTC: Well I wanted to pick Jon Lester, too.
Rob: Heck, he beat the Yanks twice!
CTC: So I did.
He's been the unequivocal ace of that up and down Sox staff.
CTC: His K to walk ratio is almost 5:1
Rob: Him beating New York is way better than Joba beating a weak Boston lineup.
CTC: Well it was in July anyway.
Rob: See how I turned the tables?
Who was your NL Non-Pitcher of July, sir?
CTC: There were a couple of worthy candidates last month.
But since this our website.
And we can do whatever we want.
I added "I didn't see that coming" points and chose Carlos Delgado
Rob: I like the cut of your jib.
CTC: He came alive during that gimmicky cross New York double header.
And he kept it going the rest of the month.
Rob: You love it when people succeed against the Yanks
CTC: I note it, certainly.
Rob: It's a badge of courage.
CTC: He OPSd over 1.1
Had 9 tater dongs.
Rob: That's nuts. That's LaRochesque.
CTC: And all of this after pretty much being left for dead after a lousy start.
Who'd you pick sir?
Rob: I chose Adam Dunn, for going on a tater tear after having his reputation besmirched by J.P. Ricciardi
twelve dongs on the month
and twelve walks!
CTC: Yeah he was clubbin the ball.
Is he turning some sort of corner?
Rob: Yeah that was low for him
But hey, a 1.148 OPS is nothing to shake your genitals at.
So the Reds stink. Big whoop.
He was only intentionally walked twice.
What about in the AL
Rob: Situations are weird.
CTC: who'd you have there buddy
Rob: I liked Grady Sizemore.
One fact screamed out at Rob:
He had eight ding dongs and eight stolen bases.
CTC: THAT'S BALANCE
Rob: That's a 40-40 pace, y'all!
Kid is quietly the best centerfielder in baseball, and I wish he played for the team I like best.
He is also dreamy (or so I've heard).
Who did you choose, Chuck?
CTC: I went with Jermaine Dye of the Chicago White Sox.
No one stood out to me in the AL at all this month.
But I feel like he did some stuff.
Hit some home runs.
Drove in some guys.
Rob: I feel like he wasn't even as good as his outfieldmate Carlos Quentin
CTC: I don't feel like that.
Dye was on base more.
Rob: That's good.
Rob: And Dye is usually driving in Quentin.
I don't know what that means but okay anyway.
CTC: Yeah. Quentin had more RBI though.
And scored more runs.
But I choose Dye.
Rob: Is this the part where we discuss surprises?
My surprise was Josh Hamilton in the HR Derby.
Rob: That was awesome.
CTC: I was surprised that he made me that interested in the HR Derby.
Rob: I was surprised that he made me love him.
CTC: That was one of the most fun nights of watching anything on TV in a long long time.
And I didn't see it coming.
I think I picked Uggla.
Rob: Even better than the Maude marathon?
CTC: Susan B. Anthony, always out doing stuff
walking around, and holding up signs!
Rob: And then there's Maude...right?
What was your surprise
Rob: Yeah Josh Hamilton made us all fans of rehab that night, but my surprise was trade deadline-related.
I'm not surprised about the players who DID get traded
CTC: THE ARTHUR RHODES DEAL??
Rob: I'm more surprised that my friend Adam Dunn did NOT get traded.
I guess J.P. Ricciardi was right.
CTC: And Jarrod Washburn.
Rob: He's a dickbag.
Washburn will move before Sept. 1st
CTC: I have to as well.
My lease is up at the end of this month.
Rob: I wouldn't be surprised to see him in Anaheim on Saturday
pitching for the Yankees.
Here's a hint: leave an upperdecker for the next lessee.
CTC: Well July was quite the month, eh Ron?
Rob: It certainly was, Christine