Deities in Stirrups

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sweepingbaby.jpgEnjoy today's order of games, get the celebratory nonsense out of your system. Tomorrow is the most hallowed of Canadian holidays: Simcoe Day, in which Canadians celebrate the ancient tradition of having a long weekend in August. Act appropriately.

Three game winning streaks are relatively meaningless: Don't tell that to all the curlers in your family. Sweeping is integral to breaking the spirit of you opponents, buoying you for further success. The Sox, Rays and O's can all complete AL sweeps, the Astros, Brewers, Nats, and Giants can do likewise.

Welcome back! Fransisco Liriano makes his return to the Twins rotation, proving once again that whining will get you what you want 9 times out of 10. Livan Hernandez and every stodgy baseball writer that trump wins over stat-geekery can't quite figure it out.

A Duel! Of sorts. Jorge Campillo has been the Braves pitcher most able to keep all his parts in good working order. He takes on Ben Sheets, who's awesomeness and pending free-agency make this a match up to watch. The potential duel between Ian Snell and Carlos Zambrano seems unlikely, as this game is not played in Pittsburgh. Ian Snell's home/away splits are quite terrible. Never before has a man longed so deeply for the warmth of steel mills at his side.

Under the lights: The Phillies and Cardinals will live out their junior high cafeteria dreams and hurl tater tots at each other long into the night. Upstanding citizen who had the good sense not to harm his dog Brett Myers takes the hill against Todd Wellemeyer. The Cardinals just keep scraping this together, staying close and getting production out of several non-Pujols figures. Even Lurch Glaus has a cool 18 home runs. By my estimation, Jon & Joe will offer Albert Pujols their next grandchild before the 4th inning.

Enjoy the games! Enjoy the sun! Enjoy the knowledge that I don't have to work tomorrow! Enjoy the silence!

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I hope Ben Sheets enjoys Turner Field, since it will be his new home stadium next year.

Afternoon thought, if you could beat any baseball player up, who would you choose?

I pick Craig Counsell

Derek Jeter. Jeremy Giambi was safe despite your stupid play in 2001. TIE GOES TO THE RUNNER

Absent the ability to take down Dusty Baker, I'd love to take down LaTroy Hawkins.

Eric Byrnes.

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