It's no secret that the Phillies' offense has been just short of impotent over the past two months, and manager Charlie Manuel is about as flummoxed as an old fart can be. The Phils sport a .236 team batting average and a .314 on-base percentage since June 13th as they've fallen two games behind the Mets in the NL East. Surprisingly, the Phillies starting rotation and bullpen have been absolutely remarkable; the starters have the sixth best ERA in the NL and the relievers have the 2nd best, lagging only the Dodgers. Still, they can't expect to win every 2-1 game on a regular basis like they did yesterday against the Padres.
So what is Uncle Cholly to do? Solicit advice from the masses, that's what:
"I'm puzzled. I stay up late at night thinking about how we can get our offense going," Manuel said, before his team beat San Diego, 2-1, at PETCO Park on Sunday. "I'll listen to what anybody's got to say. Fans. Cab drivers. President Bush, anybody."
You heard the man, cab drivers of America, and I know you all read Walkoff Walk while buzzing around Philadelphia in your taxis. The man asked for your advice so you better give it to him. Please feel free to contact Charlie Manuel at his home phone number (215-555-JOWLS), his email address (email@example.com) or simply over the facsimile telegraph machine.