Joe Torre's Ghostwriter Is Messing With My Head

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You know I love me some MLBlogs.com. It seems as if the majority of them these days are coming from the Dodgers. There's Alyssa Milano, Tommy Lasorda and the culinary journo stylings of Andre Ethier. There's also the heartbreakingly funny final entry from Andruw Jones's blog. Fun time is over, indeed. The newest entrant into this linguistic race to the bottom is none other than Dodgers skipper, Joe Torre.

It is perhaps the worst kept secret in the world that some of these are ghostwritten, but I tend to think a lot of the MLBlogs are on the up and up. Or at least dicated faithfully. But, I gotta tell you. If this is the real Joe Torre talking, consider my brain fully broke.

  • "Aside from the fact that men don't usually have diaries; even the word "diary" brings to mind a little pink book with a heart-shaped lock and a label that reads "My Secrets" in lavender bubble letters. But that's not really me, so I think a blog is a more acceptable "dude-like" version."

  • rummy.jpg
  • "I saw one of those little candy Valentine's hearts printed with "LOL" and thought it was a typo right up until I started reading about blogs and Web acronyms. I mean, WTF(udge), right? Then there are "web smileys" like ;-) and :-( which frankly make me a bit >:-P (I just made that one up). But live and learn."

  • rummy.jpg
  • "I learned about it first-hand when I found myself walking down Rodeo Drive with this little white Maltese or Pomeranian named Butch under my arm. The funniest (or saddest) part was that I didn't look one bit out of place. Hey, if that's all it takes to fit into LA, I'm in--at least the white fur will match my uniform. Maybe I can get a gray one for my away games."

  • rummy.jpg
  • "Until then, I'll just say BFN, because I have to GBTW, but I'll BCNU soon. But JFTR, I don't think I'm going to be using a lot of this Web slang. IMHO, plain old English works just fine. TYVM and TTYL."

  • headasplode.jpg

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26 Comments

If you get hurt and miss work it won't hurt to miss work.

He is soooo there.

Torre's ghost writer is a 14 year old girl named Kaitlyn 'Miley' Phillips.

you could say that he's GHOST WRITING the Blog.

/dances around computer while words appear.

Joe Torre hired a ghostpicker to clean out his mega-schnozz.

He is trying to be just like Yogi in every way. Think about it. They were both catchers, they both managed the Yankees and the Mets and they are both pitchmen for insurance companies. Now he wants start with the crazy sayings. Just be yourself Joe.

BTW, the picture of Rummy was picked out long before our little episode of Crossfire that happened in the last post.

I'm absolutely sure that is Joe writing that blog.
k thx bai

/why would you type bai instead of by? its a letter longer

Torre's ghost writer is a 14 year old girl named Kaitlyn 'Miley' Phillips.

Is that the girl you watch The Hills with, Matt?

Yeah totes. That's how I knew!

Obviously, someone hasn't seen the commercial he's in now for that insurance company. Too bad his team can't get any insurance runs.

I think Rummy is to Republicans what Robert "KKK" Byrd is to the Dems

This has made me very, very angry.

Whatever 46-year old marketing maven decided this was funny/cute/whimsy needs to be terminated, post haste.

/clenches fists, shakes them at nothing in particular

I challenge any of you to take engagement photos and not look queer.

@Fartmammer
I got mine done two weeks ago and damn photgapher made us kiss for half of the pictures. I kissed my fiance more that afternoon than I have the two years I have known her.

@Fartie
I'm from the South, where it is (or at least was) considered declasse to use couple shots for engagement announcements. We got married in Portland, and the photographer was pissy about my glorious exclusion. But his name was Fudge, so the moral high ground was mine.

I'm from the s't and want some s'p.

POST THE PICTURES FARTIE

I read that book about him by Judie Bloom.

My fiance would be thrilled to have her pictures on WalkoffWalk. She knows I go by Farthammer, and that is enough.

You're all a bunch of fruits.

I would link to my wedding website but I would hav to figure out how to disable the comment section first.

@ bc twins fan
I really think this group would show proper restraint in commenting, so please post the link. Thank you.

@BC - what a coincidence. I kissed your fiance more that day, too.

Weddings? In 2008? How many comely lasses did you have to send to your Feudal Lord for the right to wed on his lands?

/refuses to have his cake and eat it too

@Pale Hose
ZING!!!

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