Lemme Get Rid of this Gum

Nobody wants to wander the clubhouse alone. Check out today's games and participate in some champagne bukkake with your loved ones.

Sweet, Sweet Sweeps The Mets, Braves, Brewers, Astros, Halos, Tribe, Twins, Rays and Orioles all stand poised to sweep their opponents aside. The Astros are going to have to do it without Carlos Lee, who looks to be lost for the season with a broken pinky finger. He should wrap that shit in a Creampuff shirt. Sweeps in baseball are just like sweeps on TV. Expect a lot of stunt casting, weddings and cliff hangers at the ballpark today.

It Lives! Livan Hernandez drags his carcass onto the mound for yet another team. The Rockies made the curious decision to allow the bloated ERA man to make his debut at Coors Field. He takes on the gunshy Ivy league baller Chris Young and his punchless Padres.

Bring Your Big Guns to War Some strange yet interesting duels today. The Diamondbacks will hope their true ace will stop their slide against Mighty Mike Hampton. The Cubs - Cards game in prime time features all star Ryan Dempster taking on Chris Carpenter. Carpenter looked great in his last start but the team is still going to handle him with the kid gloves. Joe Saunders against Andy Pettitte would be a duel if the Yankees didn't look so bad this weekend.

Thanks for stopping by this weekend. Camp Tiger Claw and Rob will return with your regularly scheduled programming tomorrow. Enjoy the games!