The Long Slink Home

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Bananas.jpgIn a baseball sense, we all spent last night with a girl WAY outta our league. A mindless little tart named College Football tried to draw our attention away; but last's nights baseball action went the Sexy Librarian Marine Biologist route, and we were putty in her hands. Now hungover, we can all make the walk (off walk) of shame together. But not before we stop in for some brunch and look down the shirt of the waitress named Sunday's slate of games.

The Big Men that Broke the Elevator: You want big names to seal the deal? Roy Halladay leads his Blue Jays into Yankee Stadium for the final time, with Andy Petttitte offering resistance for the Yankees. The Big Z will take on the Old M in the rubber match in Chicago, a game both teams would love to have. CC Sabathia puts his perfect National League record on the line against the Pirates. Symbolic ace Pedro Martinez hopes to pitch a complete game, lest he be saddled with a ND. Pedro may hit the wall after 90 pitches these days, but an exhausted Pedro is better than whatever trash they'd send out there after him. The Mets bullpen has blown 11 of its last 26 save opportunities. That is downright ugly.

The Even Have Aces on the West Coast: John Lackey leads his Angels against the Rangers, looking for a four game sweep and to lower their magic number to 7. Jake Peavy is an ace, but the current state of the Padres devalues that statement considereably. Peavy is still a stud though, as he takes the man that started Game 1 of last year's World Series Jeff Francis. Yeah, that skinny Canadian kid that has been atrocious this year. Francis has actually thrown together a few good starts, but his K rate is way down and his BB rate is way up. Not generally good for business, even against the Padres.

You're so good, you get to play in front of everyone: The Dodgers and Diamondbacks finish their "big" series in the desert. Brandon Webb works quickly and induces ground balls, a recipe for success. Derek Lowe induces ground balls also, but with the Dodgers defense behind him, that is a recipe for disaster. Lowe is a free agent at the end of the year, his record betrays his performance for the year. Maybe a good outing on a big stage will help convince some GMs? Only if those GMs are Yahoo commenters.

With the odds stacked against it, Sunday afternoon isn't going down without a fight. Lots of good stuff here. Enjoy the games!

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25 Comments

But not before we stop in for some brunch and look down the shirt of the waitress named Sunday's slate of games.

That entire analogy made me a better man.

If looking down shirts, blouses, dresses, tank tops, turtlenecks, and stabilization halos is wrong, I don't want to be right.

ESPN sez that Big Z is scratched from the lineup.

Those are bananas!

I thought plantains were the fruit of choice around here.

The scorer sucks. Just give CC the no hitter.

Cubs lost, Cards lost. It's a great day.

I stand demoralized. When do i get to write the words that bury Caesar?

DOG MACHINE: A MACHINE THAT MANUFACTURES DOGS.

@Rob - "I come to bury Caesar, not to praise him."

Wait until they're mathematically eliminated or someone drives a wooden stake through Giambi's heart. Not a moment sooner.

True story: I didn't realize we had tomorrow off until Saturday evening. Tell me what games are on and where to watch them; I am prepared to get wasted by myself and comment on everything. Including Armans' dumb comment about Giambi being vulnerable to wooden stakes. Giambi was created by science, a la Frankenstein. The only way to kill Frankenstein is through a portal in the sky after Van Helsing takes out Dracula. Like in Monster Squad.

A mindless little tart named College Football tried to draw our attention away

She succeeded.

Oh cool, college football! Here, watch me run the option! Now I'm gonna use some wacky formations! Option again, suckas! I got 600 passing yards and 400 rushing yards! Flea flicker, flea flicker! Your defense comprised of one NFL-ready player and 10 business and poly-sci majors can't handle this here!

*phew*...I am already feeling the King Cobra. Sorry about that, matt_T and the rest of yous guys.

* in the SEC's case, 1 NFL-ready player and 10 sports-medicine and comm majors who will contribute nothing to society.

Whee! I am so full of vinegar tonight! Who wants to rassle?

pffft my alma mater has 2 of the likely top 5 picks on offense and probably 5-10 more on the team.

You went to Cal Poly-Pomona?

Seriously though, the A's rule.

Like the Green Lantern and his vulnerability to Sinestro's yellow ring, Giambi can only be defeated by silver man thongs.

Giambi can also be defeated by 6-year, $96 million contracts from the A's w/o a no-trade clause. Of course, he will then recover and sign a $126 million contract from the Yanks w/o a no-trade clause.

If Brandon Webb was so good at getting grounders, explain why the Dodgers hit two home runs off him in the first inning and get a grand total of 6 earned runs?

Brandon Webb forgot tonight that a sinker should not be placed belt high.

I hate the Giants almost as much as I hate tomatoes. But Tim Lincecum should probably get some type of pitching award.

We may have shrimpage in Florida

dammit. Sac fly

Gagne, learn to aim. That is all.

Brewers lost obviously. Somehow the Phillies, the Cubs, and the Cards all do too.

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